About 20 years ago, I taught preschool for a few years. I loved the job and I am sure that I learned way more than the 3 year-olds in my class did!
One of the things that drives people nuts when they around kids that age for very long is the question “Why?” Children that age are curious and discovering the world, therefore they want to know why. It is one of the things I love about kids!
You can ask why to anything, including the answer to the previous why. Why seems to be a child’s natural response to everything.
Who, What, When and Where are the questions a good reporter asks when they need the facts, but the question of why is often where the real story lives. What happened, who it happened to, where and when it happened are usually cut and dry facts that just are, but why? That’s where the good stuff starts.
Why is the motive, the incentive, the real reason. Every good story needs a good why.
I have always been a WHY? person. I want to know the back story, the catalyst for the action, the way things work behind the scenes and why you think what you think.
I have had those jobs where they teach you the task at hand, but when questioned about why things are done a certain way, there are no answers- no one seems to know. If they did know they certainly weren’t going to share the information with me.
Common answers to the question of why, whether it be for a 3 year old or this 63 year old, is often “because I said so” or “because we have always done it that way.” Mostly for someone my age, the answer is that there is no reason why or nowadays it might be because an article on the internet says so.
I really am not trying to be impertinent when I question why someone believes a certain way. I am honestly interested in why people think the things they do, especially if it is a thought I can not relate to or think the exact opposite. I am not calling you out for your position, I am just trying to understand it.
My major problem is, people don’t seem to be able to defend their positions. They have no idea why they think what they think. They can not give you a coherent reason for their thoughts.
Again, I am not trying to be rude, just curious. But if you have absolutely nothing to say after you throw out some statement that you hold out as a fact or your deep seated belief, I have a hard time believing you- that the fact is true or that you have such a passionate feeling for what you have just said.
I try to keep lots of my thoughts to myself, I know that is hard to believe since I have this blog! If I wrote out everything I thought I would a) have no friends b) stir up more controversy than I am willing to deal with and c) not have time for anything else.
Most of the time I keep my thoughts to myself because I am still working on them. I see multiple sides and I am trying to research and make informed decisions. Or I am absolutely sure that I am seeing the right side of the issue, but want plenty of knowledge before saying anything so as not to seem frivolous when I make a statement. For the most part, I am not confident enough to just spout out whatever I think.
Wanting to know the why behind what you are doing, what you are thinking, what others around you are doing and thinking isn’t being nosy or rude, it is being open to new knowledge, it is wanting to go below the surface of a subject. It is being curious about how things work, how things are made, what causes things to happen, where other people are coming from and what makes us different and/or alike.
I have a hard time these days asking the question why- people are not too keen on explaining themselves, most people I fear can’t. They latch on to an idea, find like minded people who don’t really question that idea but reinforce it and then get angry with you if you dare to question them.
Most people can not defend their positions because they really haven’t taken the time to give it the thought it might warrant. They feel belittled if you ask them why, as if your assumption that they have some knowledge is an attack. I do not understand.
In the last play I directed, one of the characters says, “… when you get advice from someone who’s an expert like him… it’s like that quote from Tennyson: ‘Ours is not to reason why. Ours is but to do or die.'”
The other character in the scene answers, “Right. Although…that is a poem…in which everyone dies.”
Maybe questioning why things happen in the world or why you believe a certain thing or why things work they way they do or why Pit Bull is a star isn’t the fashionable thing to do. Maybe asking your friends to tell you why they make the statements they do or hang on to the ideas they have is rude. Maybe my curiosity, like my cat’s, will get me in serious trouble someday.
There are so many things in this world that don’t have an answer (I do know to steer clear of those!) but when you have something you bravely stand up for, know why, because I am probably going to ask you. And I really want to know.
