I know the saying is JUST SAY NO! As usual, I see things a little differently. I certainly don’t blame the JUST SAY NO campaign for what I am about to say. I know it is about saying no to drugs. Good message! But what if you think about that saying from another angle.
Last week, one of my students was being asked by several people to do something constructive during study time. But for this kid there was always a reason why he couldn’t read a book quietly, he had forgotten to bring homework and everything I suggested as a topic to journal on was met with a no. Write about a favorite musician- I’ve done that. Continue writing your personal history for drama- don’t have any more to say. Write about who you admire- not sure who that is. I remember the joke that was passed around school several years ago- there are those of us (and you know who you are Jade and Tammy! Oh- and me!) who can write 5 pages about what they had for breakfast! I can’t understand not having anything you want to read or write about. The only reason I haven’t written on this blog in so long is that I have been overwhelmed with other writing challenges, so that itch was being scratched in other ways!
Back to this kid. I looked at him and said, “Come over here. I have a challenge for you!” The other kids were curious and wanted in on it- or so they thought. But I only wanted the one kid, and I wanted him away from the rest. No peer pressure to under achieve. I told him his challenge involved the old improv rule, the answer always has to be yes. In improv if you say no, that is the end. To keep things going you have to say yes. This kid looked at me and said, “I am not negative. I don’t just say no!” So I told him I would call him out every time he was negative. I stuck to him like a booger in a beard all afternoon. Every time he said no, I can’t, I won’t do it, I was there and said, yes, he can, he would love to. All I wanted was one positive hour and he couldn’t do it. He finally looked at me and said, “Ms. Marietta- man (?) I am negative!” But he couldn’t seem to change. (Trust me- I’ll stay on him!)
What about you? Are you negative? Is everything a no? JUST SAY YES! I have learned that I am a completion addict. If I start something, I finish it- no matter what! I also know I don’t do anything half way! I either give it my all, or I don’t do it. So lately, when I feel fear rising up or feel the allure of hiding at home alone, I agree to a task I fear, give it 100% and finish it, no matter what. When my back hurt, I knew I could sit around and gripe- and hurt. So instead I auditioned for a Christmas musical and sang and told stories through the pain. I said yes. And although it was not the greatest theatre experience I’ve ever had, it ended up being important to others and it kept me from turning into an old, complaining woman.
Recently, I have had to go WAY out of my comfort zone. WAY, WAY out. But I tell myself- it is a learning experience, and I push myself on! It means saying yes, even when you desperately want to say no.
Do we not challenge our kids enough? Are they so intimidated by their peers that the easiest thing to do is to do nothing?
I challenged myself to do something I have never done before every year since I turned 40. Since going back to school I have multiple things every year, sometimes every month, that are a new experience! It keeps me excited and feeling young! It keeps my mind and spirit fresh!
I would be remiss if I didn’t mention that my mother in law passed away this past week. I am still working out my feelings about the situation and will probably write about that later; still waiting for the grief to hit. I have learned that there is so much “stuff” that has to be handled after a death, that grieving has to wait awhile.
I know I want to keep staying active and working my brain, doing scary things and pushing myself into strange situations as long as I am able. Life is short and giving up on it can not be an option. Pushing yourself beyond what you thought you could do is essential. Saying yes to the possibilities is the only choice.
