Energy

Energy is a funny thing. Sometimes when you think you have none left, you can get a surge of fresh energy. Someone new walks in the room, a new project, any number of things can give you a “second wind”. Energy is a little like love, the more you give, the more you get. Love can give you energy and people are attracted to energy, so I guess energy can bring you love!

In theatre classes we talked a lot about energy. You have to have energy to be onstage and you share your energy with your fellow actors as well as the audience. Nothing is worse than seeing someone on stage with no energy. Now energy doesn’t mean perky, even playing a lethargic character takes energy.

Lately, I have had to deal with people with no energy. Not old people who might have a real reason to lack energy, but young people who are dragging around. In my classes on Monday, these middle schoolers come in shuffling in as if they can barely move. Now I understand that after a full day of school, a short walk home and then to the church where the class is held, they might be tired. They eat a snack and play games, do homework, etc. for the first part of our program. During that time they yell, chase each other, laugh and display other bursts of energy. Yet when class starts they drag in and act as if they can barely move, they are so tired. I get them to move and “share ” their energy in games, but mostly they act as if they can no longer function. It is frustrating. We have had guest artists come in to teach and that is what I hear most, these kids have no energy!

I know some young adults who are the same way. After a days work, they drag around as if they had a 50 pound weight chained to their leg. Can we blame this on bad nutrition? Can we blame it on their tough jobs? Can we blame it on their lack of exercise? (Believe it or not, exercise gives you MORE energy!) I think it could be a little bit of all of these things, but mostly I think it is a lack of enthusiasm for life and a lack of excitement and passion for everything life has to offer. And I believe a lot of that stems from gratitude.

I know I am a little over the top sometimes, but I feel so excited about pretty much everything! I look forward to most everything I do and I get excited and celebrate something almost every day. When I plan dinner each day, I try to make it a celebration of something; anything! If I get left alone to eat, I set a pretty place for myself and celebrate. Each time I get to go to work with these kids, I try to get myself excited, even though many days they wear the excitement out of me by the end of the day! What is the point of doing things that you aren’t excited about? Don’t get me wrong, I know there are lots of things we HAVE to do in life that we really would rather not do. But think of something positive, something redeeming about it and then get excited about that. Hate the dentist? How lucky are you to have teeth and access to someone who helps you care for them?Even something as sad as the funeral of a loved one that we had to deal with recently made me feel so grateful. I realized how many people cared about us. I realized how lucky we are to be alive and to have family we care about. I got to bring home some beautiful plants and flowers, that not only reminded me of all of those people, but of the loved one we have lost. The plants make me smile every time I see them, water them and care for them. And I get new energy wanting to be a better person, so I feel somewhat worthy of those people who care for me.

I do not know how to put energy into these younger folk who need it. I try to teach them techniques. I try to make them move and think and care. I think I am failing miserably. I can’t put energy into them. They have to generate their own. I do believe we feed off of each other’s energy, so I try to be as energetic and positive as I can be around them.

I do believe our energy hangs around sometimes after we have moved on. I have been looking at lots of houses lately and I can feel the energy, the aura if you will, of the people who live there, even though they aren’t in the space with me. Some places are just houses, not much to feel. Other places make you feel tense the moment you walk in. Others make you feel right at home. Why is that? The decor? Maybe a little. I believe it is the energy of the people who live there.

And there are some people you are just drawn towards. There are people you want to be around, that you want to hear speak, that you automatically trust. I think positive energy is what you are feeling. Ever been around a grump who only sees the worst, points out the flaws in everyone and drags around like they can barely function? Did you want to stay around them? Probably not!

Which kind of person are you? Can just getting more energy change your life? Can you eat better, do more, see the positive in others (and in you?) Can you do so much in a day, be so excited and use so much energy that you are truly tired at the end of the day so that you sleep better?

I was not sleeping well a few weeks ago. I was staying up late, waking up during the night and I couldn’t get back to sleep. Once I wake up like that, my mind takes over with some of the most preposterous, worrisome thoughts you can imagine. But in the wee small hours of the morning, these crazy thoughts seem real. And then you are tired the next day, even though you realize most of what you worried about all night was ridiculous. I kept trying to think why I was having so much trouble. I do have a lot on my mind right now, but I almost always do! I am a detail person, so I run lists of details in my brain all of the time. What was different? I finally realized that because I was babying my back so as not to have more issues, I was doing less each day. I usually move furniture, vacuum every day, work out, get up constantly from my desk to check on something or do something physical. I do plays and teach drama and stay active and busy. Fear of making my back worse (the last quadruple block helped, so I  am holding my breath) has made me cautious and sedentary. The other day someone told me how I was right to baby my back, to do less and be cautious, to avoid surgery at all costs. And I realized what I was doing wrong. I have always lived by Erma Bombeck’s quote, “When I stand before God at the end of my life, I would hope that I would have not one single bit of talent (or for me-energy) left and could say, ‘I used everything you gave me.'” I was saving my back and energy for nothing, out of fear. What am I saving myself for? I am working on a song for an upcoming event and one of the verses says, “I never wondered if I was afraid, when there was a challenge to take. And I never thought about how much I weighed, when there was still one piece of cake. Maybe it’s meant the hours I’ve spent being broken and bent and unwell. But there’s still no cure so heaven sent as to raise a little more hell!” And I then knew my cure for those sleepless nights. DO MORE! BE MORE GRATEFUL! USE MORE ENERGY!

So I have gone back to daily workouts. I walk more. I get up from my desk more. I garden more. I sing and dance more. I park farther away from the door again. And does my back hurt? Sometimes. Will I have to have surgery at some point- maybe. Am I sleeping again- YES! And I feel more like me again. I am busy, physical and feeling better about life. I’ll deal with the back if and when it gets worse.

I know I can not give the kids in my class energy. But I can be a good example. I can be energetic, excited, and grateful. I can’t make people who want to protect themselves suddenly throw caution to the wind. But I can use my energy as I see fit. I would rather live ten exciting, fun, jam packed years full out, than 20 years sitting around protecting my back. I am no daredevil, but I am also no reclusive slug. So here I go again, high energy and ready for anything!

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Marietta is a graduate of the University of Montevallo with a BFA in musical theater. She has been performing for over 50 years on the stage and continues to perform, direct and teach. Marietta is married to Tim, has a son named Jon, and a cat named Penny.