Why do girls in this day and age still think it is so important to have a man? And at a young age? Today one of my friends at school announced she got “engaged” over the weekend. After talking further she admitted it was more like a promise ring and that they would not marry until she was done with college. Thank goodness for that! I asked her how long she and this guy had been dating and she said nearly a month.
Another girl at school got engaged half way through her freshman year last year, actually I know two who did that. But the one I started to talk about has a wedding all planned out for next spring and is counting the days. She is 19 years old. At least she dated him almost six months before she decided he was “the one”!
Lots of the girls at school talk incessantly about their “boyfriends”. I never hear a name just “boyfriend” every other word. I think they like the idea of having a boyfriend more than the actual guy!! If they break up they have a new boyfriend within a couple of weeks. Like a great pair of shoes, I guess they think you should never be without.
To add to the strange ideas these girls have about finding a mate, the other day one of the girls told me she really liked my outfit and I thanked her. Some of these kids are lavish in their compliments. Another girl then commented that I always dressed nicely for class to which the first girl proclaimed, “And she is married! She doesn’t have to dress up anymore!” I found that wildly amusing! As if now or ever I have dressed up for anyone other than myself!
I am married and love being married. I am content with my choice because I was older when I married. I had partied, dated around, been independent and done a lot of self evaluation before I ever even thought about getting married. Oh yeah, 30 years ago I heard rumblings of “old maid” and felt that small nudging that I was letting the opportunities pass me by. But I did not succumb until I was good and ready. And even then I had known Tim for years as a friend and customer at the bank. We dated only a few months before we got engaged but we had lots of life experience and because of our friendship knew each other pretty well.
A word of advice, when you are old and gray like I am you don’t want to wonder what life could have been like if only you had waited. You don’t want to wonder if there was someone else out there. You don’t want to regret what you might have been if you had kept on exploring life and all of the options out there. You don’t want to wake up one day and imagine what you could have done with just a little more time to figure out who you are as an individual before you become half of a couple. Life is short but there is always time to to really know yourself, it makes you a better wife and someday a better mom, if that is the path you choose.
You don’t need a guy to be a whole human being. Alone is not a dirty word. Know who you are before you try to know anyone else. It is 2011- live it up!
