Well, I feel the need to blog again before bed. I had a rehearsal this evening and I feel totally different. I thought things went well in rehearsal, it was fun and although I walked in ready to drop from exhaustion, I walked out with a spring in my step. How does that happen?
When I got home I had a message from my sweet friend Julie, one of the nicest, most calm, and truly good people I know. She was asking me for wine corks- I collect them for some unknown reason- which has nothing to do with anything that has bothered me all week. And yet, thinking about her and how nice she is, how much trust she has in God and what an inspiration she is to so many, I felt awful about my last post.
I give up too quickly and I get too upset with people. I am so very sensitive and a snide remark cuts me deep, deeper than it should. So I apologize for my language- I try not to use profanity in my writing (now my speech at times is a different story, I’m afraid!) Usually I can find a more intelligent and precise word to get across my meaning when I write. When I talk in the heat of the moment, I sometimes can’t find the perfect word quickly enough or I just want the shock value. I think words are just things and what your intention is makes a word ugly or not. The kids at school use “curse words” so much they lose their meaning and power, they mean nothing anymore. A perfectly acceptable word can be devastating if used in certain ways. It is all in your intent.
Well, I intended to be ugly and mean in my last blog to someone but I could have been more clever with my barbs. And now I feel badly that I lashed out at all. I am in a better frame of mind and don’t really care what that person does or thinks- I was angry at the moment (actually for two days) but I am over it.
And all because I had a good rehearsal. Maybe my friend Julie is right when she says God has us where we need to be. I just need to remember that.
