I tend to work with kids a lot. I am not sure how I feel about that, to be honest with you. When I went to college the first time, I thought I would become a teacher. I had helped classmates in high school and liked the idea of teaching. But it was not to be. When I was in college a few years ago, everyone kept asking me if I was there to get my teaching certificate, so I could teach theatre. I had to keep telling them no, I did not want to teach, I wanted to act.
When I got to my last semester, my adviser had an internship for me. In order to replace another class that I really didn’t want to take, I accepted the internship, although it meant working with high school students. If ever I was going to teach, I thought that high school kids would be my last choice. Partly because they are snarky and hormonal, and partly because there is a good chance that they already know more than I do!!
My experience with the internship was amazing. I loved our production of THE CRUCIBLE, I grew to love the kids and they proved me so wrong! Not about the knowing more than I do part, they most definitely knew more than I did! But they were well mannered, thoughtful and friendly.
After graduating, I helped with some elementary kids programs and such, most of which were rather difficult situations. I decided that little kids, and especially their parents, were not for me.
Then I went to work with some older kids that made me want to pull my hair out. They really didn’t seem to want to be there and they absolutely had no interest in drama, which is what I was there to teach. It was like pulling teeth every class and I came home feeling useless and like a failure every time. By the end of the two years that I did this, I was coming home to drink wine and cry (or rant, depending on if someone other than the cat would listen.) Like I said before, teaching older kids was not for me.
Around this same time, I did some vocal coaching with a group of middle school show choir kids. All of these kids were planning to do the solo competitions, so I was there to help them with their confidence and stage presence. Time flew by in these sessions and I really felt like I made a difference in how these young people performed and more importantly how they felt about themselves. Maybe older kids were where I should be.
This summer I had the opportunity to read to small children. After all of my experiences, I have to honestly say I was kind of dreading it. Luckily it was only to read a book to a group on two different mornings, so I figured I could get through it. To my surprise, the little first and second graders were sweet and attentive. I thoroughly enjoyed reading to them and stayed to let them read to me.
Which brings us to this week. I started my two week job of being the acting teacher at a summer camp. It is five days a week from 9:30-2:30 and I have 3 classes, one with elementary kids, one with middle school kids and one with mostly high school kids. I didn’t know what to think going in. After all, I had failed with little kids, middle school AND high school. I had succeeded with all of these ages as well. And bottom line, why do I keep agreeing to teach kids of any age?!
The little kids are funny and the games I brought to play were fun. The middle school kids are lively and we had a pretty good time. They get through things quicker than the little guys, so I had to jump into the second day’s curriculum on Day 1. The high school group came in last and they were tired, I could tell. I gave them the same little lecture on rules I had given the younger classes and then we did a few games. They had done some of them before and we finished the Day 1 games and most of the Day 2 games during our first class. I looked at the clock and I still had 15 minutes to kill. 15 MINUTES! Do you know how long that is?? And we were all tired. It had been a long day. We sat down and talked and I kept looking at the clock. “What did you guys learn today?” “Nothing.” “What was your favorite part of the day?” Blank stares.
About 5 minutes before class was over, a counselor came in to get a few of the kids whose rides had shown up early. Thank goodness!! I was happy to just let them all go. As they meandered out of the room, the same word kept going through my head. LAME, LAME, LAME. I knew that class had been lame.
I am old, but I remember being a teenager vividly. I know they left thinking it was going to be a long week. I know that is what I was thinking.
On day two, I tried a little different tactic. I did more games with the little ones and more talking to the older ones. When the middle schoolers came in from lunch, I let them settle a bit while I shared some of my thoughts and experiences in the theatre. When the high schoolers came in, I let them chill after a long day and we talked. When the counselor came in a few minutes before class ended to start getting kids, I was a little annoyed. And frankly, I think they were, too. I went home feeling better than the day before.
On Thursday, we had our final auditions. I had to cast three shows, one for each class and scripts had to go home with them on Friday, so they could work on their lines over the weekend. I had watched them all week, but 35 names to learn in a few days was daunting and I wasn’t sure in all of the running around, I had them all straight. So I had them stand up, one at a time, and sell themselves to me in 90 seconds or less. The little kids took about 20 seconds each. They told me their names and how old they were. They each told me they were great actors and had been in lots of shows. It was funny to watch.
The middle school kids got real and told very personal things that brought us all to tears, made us laugh and made us think. After we got done, the kids circled up and we talked. They told me they had never been so honest before. They didn’t know why they had suddenly felt able to speak the way they did. One girl said that she had just shared something she had never shared with anyone before. They thought I had been so honest with them, so open to what they thought, that they just felt free to share.
When class was over, one girl hung back. She told me I was her favorite teacher ever. Then she was gone.
I was still overwhelmed when the high school group came in. This should be interesting! Usually when I get to feeling pretty good about myself, I get slapped back down to earth. I started class a little afraid!
Although it was different from the last two classes, I did make a great connection with the last group. It wasn’t as introspective and touching as the group before, it was hilarious! The kids were open and funny. They told me anecdotes about their lives and they made me think we could pull off the silly play I had picked for them, even though they didn’t know yet that I had picked something funny!
I came home to make the casting decisions. Casting is always the hardest, yet most important part of a project. I did the best I could.
When I gave out parts on Friday, and we read through the plays, I felt OK with what I had picked for each group. Whether it was dumb luck or divine intervention (or some of both!) I think it will all work out. The little kids were all over the place, the middle schoolers were serious and we got through reading the plays 3 times in each class. When the high schoolers came in, I was so worried that they would find the play I had picked for them to be lame and I would fall back to my day one status. The worst part, that I didn’t want to admit to them, was that I had taken a play I found, added 5 characters to make it work for the group and changed most of the marginally funny lines into slap stick, kind of corny jokes. Basically, I rewrote the whole play.
If they found the play stupid, it was all on me.
They read through it giggling and talking. When we were done, I asked if they had any questions or issues. One girl asked me if I wrote the play. She said it sounded like me and had my sense of humor all through it. I told her I had to add to it to make it work for them, but I did not admit to how much I had done to it. We read it again and they started to add their own ideas- I had made it open ended in places so we could have some improv thrown in and their brains were flowing with ideas. We laughed until we were rolling on the floor and when the counselor came in to take away half of the class we all looked at her with anger.
I wished them a great weekend. Packed up my things and as I was about to head out, I had two visitors. One to thank me for her part and another to tell me she had so many ideas that she would write them all down for us to discuss on Monday.
Do I like teaching? If so, what age am I suited for? Am I better suited to write about acting, teach acting or act? I have no idea how to answer any of those questions. I just keep going with the flow, sometimes I feel lame and sometimes I feel amazing. The point is to keep going and keep feeling and keep hoping that I eventually figure something out.
