When I went back to school I got lots of advice. People tend to want to share their wisdom whenever there is a big life event in the making. Marriage, having kids, buying a house- people are right there ready to tell you what to do. One of my friends who had actually gone back to school in her 40’s gave me some advice I kept tucked in the back of my brain until now. She told me to enjoy being around all of the young people I would meet. She told they would be more accepting than I expected, but once school was over, they would be gone.
I kind of forgot her words and went on to school, sure that I would be ignored, laughed at and ridiculed. While my friend had chosen to pursue an MBA, a smart thing for a woman of our age, I was trying for a BFA in theatre. While she had studied in the library with other calm, studious types, I was impersonating a rock star in one class, dancing hip-hop in the next.
My other big fear was having to take history. I had avoided it the first time I went to college, but this time my adviser suggested it right off the bat. I decided to go for it because if I failed A) I had plenty of time to try again, or B) I could just drop out altogether before I had wasted too much time.
So there I was, in a history class with a bunch of young people. I had signed up for Facebook because teachers used it for notifications, but I had vowed to never ask anyone to be my friend- they would have to come to me! I quickly learned however, that I loved talking to these kids. They had definite opinions and weren’t jaded enough to have a fear of sharing them. As grown ups we tend to be afraid of certain topics that these kid would discuss fearlessly. And although I never did send any friend requests, I ended up with lots of “friends.” I never went out with them except for the occasional lunch, but I thoroughly enjoyed being around them. And they seemed to like, respect, and admire me. I was asked for advice, but mostly I was just accepted. (Which is more than I can say for all of my professors, some of whom saw me as a bored housewife trying to fill a day!)
In my Acting 1 class we did several exercises where we had to write and prepare scenes following certain criteria and with no talking. Then we performed them for the class and got critiqued. One rather odd student did a scene that scared me so badly at one point that I jumped and ended up in the lap of the guy next to me. When we looked at each other we busted out laughing and have been friends ever since!
Today, almost two years after graduation I had lunch with that guy and of all people, my history teacher! (Who could have predicted that I would not only love history, but become friends with the teacher!) Even before graduation my friend, Michael, my teacher, Josh and I have had frequent lunches. Today was probably the last of those lunches for the three of us. Michael is moving away, very far away and starting a new and fascinating career, full of travel and adventure. We had our usual Mexican food (what is it with me and men who only want to eat Mexican??) and discussed the usual- plays we had seen, plays we were planning to see, politics, history and what was happening in our lives lately. We lingered over the chips and salsa for hours, knowing this could be it. Not wanting to go home yet, we walked next door for Popsicles and sat on the benches outside, talking. When we realized how late it was, we hugged and I said out loud, “This is probably the last time I will see you!” There were protestations and shaking of heads, but I have lived longer and I know how life gets busy and you lose touch with people.
This day and age is better since we have twitter, Facebook, email and texts. I can send my voice teacher who moved to New York a text every so often so she knows I still love her and miss her. I can look on Facebook and see what my friend Andrew in Salt Lake City has been up to. And I have no doubt that Michael will send the occasional text and that I will see his posts on Facebook. But from an old lady who knows, it isn’t the same. It will never again be the same as sitting around a table eating tacos and laughing at stories from college or shows we’ve done together. It isn’t the same as retelling the story of how we met every time we get together. It isn’t the same as sitting on an old church pew out in the sun, next to the Popsicle store, laughing about old friends who have moved to NYC or London. It isn’t the same as that long hug as we parted ways and I slowly walked home.
Most of the youngsters I met in school have all graduated, the last few are done next month. Although I loved my time in college, it is done and the thought of going back now that my friends are gone only makes me sad, so I doubt I ever go back. My history teacher no longer teaches there and the adviser who made me take history in the first place (and became my staunchest ally and friend) is gone. So today was sort of the end of an era for me.
I have plenty to do, a full life to lead and some pretty incredible memories. The advice given to me was right- I met some great youngsters, they were more accepting of me than I could have imagined, I enjoyed every minute of it and now they are gone. As they should be- off to follow their dreams, to live their lives and use the knowledge we got at school. I will miss them, but how lucky was I to know these talented youngsters at all.
