Well, as usual everything is coming together to create the perfect storm in the next couple of weeks. I have sailed right along this semester. I am so used to keeping several balls in the air and doing things in a timely manner. I mean, you can’t run a household, do volunteer work and hold down a job without knowing how to prioritize, use your time wisely and delegate. I have lots of real life experience that these kids do not. As they lament about staying up all night to write a paper, I smuggly laugh to myself because my paper has been in my binder for weeks. I tend to do things asap and I don’t wait for deadlines. I see deadlines as a sword dangling over my head and I sleep better when I don’t have that situation on my mind.
So as I stop to think about what I need to work on for tomorrow (Dale Carnegie says to work in day tight compartments but I usually make it today and tomorrow compartments) I realize I am in good shape.
But then I find myself thinking outside of that parameter and find myself panicking a bit. I plan to audition for my BFA in a few weeks. I also have juries looming and my audition for next semester ahead of me. So I have started preparing for those things as well as day to day class work.
Today I could look at the classes for next semester and I am a little stressed at what I can and can not get done next semester. I tell Tim often, all I can do is all I can do. So I move ahead.
My main concern right now is my hair. Those of you who know me know I get restless for a new look often. More often than is normal. I am ready for a change and I have had lots of nudges to cut it off, big time. For starters I want to, I think. I am adventurous but even I have my moments of freaking out. And the part I have in a show at Virginia Samford in March I think calls for a shorter hairdo. But my hair is not my own right now. I have directors who have opinions and a new hairdo means a new headshot. It is much more complicated than it used to be in the good old days when I operated on my whims.
But the very people I need to consult make me nervous and I think it is a trivial thing to bother them with. “Should I cut my hair?” I can see them roll their eyes and say, “Why should I give a damn about your hair??” But then I also see them saying, “Well, I would have given you a part, but I can’t work with that haircut!!”
Always in times of stress I focus on a trivial thing that takes my mind off of the troubles ahead. And then I sail through the rough water by looking ahead at the silly. So I will continue to consider my hair troubles and hopefully before I know it I will be living in December with my BFA, a part in some shows for spring, straight A’s (a B in dance counts as an A to me) and a cute new haircut.
