I don’t know about you, but this time of year my mailbox is full. Not only do we get lots of Christmas cards, but I get even more requests for donations. If I understand it correctly, this is the time of year when most charitable organizations get a majority of their money for the year.
It seems that people are more willing to give this time of year. The whole holiday thing makes people a bit kinder and more generous. Some are also thinking that soon to follow the holiday season is the tax season and donations can help ease a little of your tax burden.
I was talking with a friend the other day about giving and what kind of organizations we like to contribute to. It included a discussion of the book “Toxic Charity” which I started and didn’t finish because it was making me so sad.
So many charities use the money only partly for the cause they support. Other acts of charity are really not as helpful as we would think and often times there are ulterior motives in so called acts of charity.
In the book it tells a couple of stories that really got to me. It told of a family that was about to have their meager Christmas, when a well meaning group came in with a big tree, food and toys for the kids. As the kids cheered and danced around, the dad of the family slipped out the back door. One of the volunteers saw him and followed. When asked, the dad of this family admitted how times like this hurt his soul. He was doing all that he could to have a Christmas for his family. He had bought each a small gift and managed to put food on the table. He felt emasculated in a way when outsiders came in and gave his kids more than he ever could. He wasn’t mad at the volunteer, he didn’t begrudge his kids having the new gifts, he just wished it hadn’t been so obvious to all that his gifts were left behind in favor of the fancier charity.
The second story was about a mission company. You pay big dollars to go on a “mission trip” to far away lands to “help” the less fortunate. This one particular company had its volunteers go to the same school and paint the same room over and over as their “work” part of the trip. (By the end of the summer the room had been painted dozens of times by various groups.) The rest of the time they were sight seeing. The book said if all of the thousands of dollars spent on the trips had been given to the less fortunate, rather than these volunteers basically taking a vacation with a few hours of work thrown in, much bigger changes could have been made. Now if you want a vacation- great! Just call it what it is.
I went on a trip after graduation. I don’t really call it a “mission” trip although that is what it was called. Compared to what I can and wanted to do, I did very little work. I saw a beautiful new country, I learned a lot about another culture, I made new friends, tried new foods, and enjoyed the experience immensely. I helped mix some concrete, put in a few bolts and mark off the footings for a new dwelling in the jungle. I got lots of exercise, fresh air and camaraderie. But most of what I saw and did was much more beneficial for me than anyone else. So I call it a trip of exploration and discovery, not a mission trip. Had I been a skilled worker that built a whole house, then yes. Had I been a stronger person who could have carried materials up the hill all day, then yes. My skills of acting, singing and writing were useless there at that time. I am glad I went, but I think in actuality I did little for anyone else.
Now I am not saying don’t give or don’t go, I am saying research where you give and think before you act. Are you doing this for you or for others? Are you just taking the easy way out to a “feel good” experience or are you actually helping?
My friend and I talked about the people who want to only boast of their giving or who make sure if they do any mission work that they are around for the pictures, but not much longer after that. Lots of people show up to “work” but in actuality talk and socialize the whole time.
Now I am not here to judge what others do, I am just saying that in our giving and in our work we should examine what we are doing and who we are giving to. As with anything in life we should do our research.
I think as a society we tend to take the easy way out. We want sound bites, not the full story. We want a quick fix, not the long, tedious labor that is often required. We want things spoon fed to us, we don’t want to go out and search for what we need to know.
Most good things don’t come easy. Just because something makes you feel good, doesn’t mean that you did good. Did you lift someone up and give them something they can move forward with or did you just put a band aid on a gaping wound?? Make sure what you did for someone else was what they needed, not what you wanted. Make sure the charity you give your time and money to is doing what they say they are doing and that they are doing what is truly needed.
Urban Ministries opened a cafe where anyone can come to eat- the food is good and you pay what you can. If I go there to eat, I pay full price for my meal. If someone who has less goes, they pay less. If someone who can not pay at all goes, then they are given a small task to “pay” for their meal. It is a hand up, not a hand out.
Jeremiah’s Hope teaches skills to get a job in the health industry in an efficient and affordable way and has an amazing graduation rate and employment after graduation rate.
Community Furniture Bank gives furniture to people who have lost furniture in fire or floods, or are needing furniture to get back on their feet. You can give money, but also furniture that you no longer want.
I could go on and on, but won’t. The whole point is, do your homework. Do it for where you shop, who you give to, who you vote for, whatever you do. Just because I believe in a cause doesn’t mean you do. So don’t rely on me, rely on the brain and heart that you have. Check things out before you retweet them, believe them or support them.
And if they are worthy of your support, support them all year. See what they are doing on a random week in March or July or September. Be the kind of person who gives and cares and shares all year long. Maybe if we do that all year, the feelings of peace on earth and goodwill towards men can be felt year round.
