I am a rule follower. That is not necessarily a good thing, it is just the truth. I have raised a rule follower in my son. Sometimes following the rules is hard and it isn’t always the smartest thing. It seems in this day and age a rule is just a challenge. Lots of people believe that rules are made to be broken.
A few weeks ago we heard a sermon about Saint Benedict of Nursia (I promise it wasn’t as boring as that last sentence made it sound.) Saint Benedict was a pretty strict person from what I heard, and he wrote a book laying down some rules for the other monks. There were 73 chapters of rules telling the monks how to eat, sleep, pray, pretty much do everything. Even I would have to break most of those rules I bet!
It was also pointed out in that sermon that you need a life plan and that there really are no shortcuts in life. We were given an outline for “a rule of life” which had 3 headings with three subheadings underneath each one. Still lots of rules, but definitely not as many to follow as 73.
At a memorial service the other day there was a friend who quoted poet Mary Oliver. “Instructions for living a life: Pay attention, Be astonished, Tell about it.” Simple and to the point. I realized I am always trying to do exactly this, even though I had never heard it before the funeral. I really love this quote. My blog helps me tell about all of the things I see, hear and am astonished by.
In our household we have The 5 Rules of Life. They aren’t as comprehensive as Saint Benedict’s 73 chapters or as simple and poetic as Mary Oliver’s, but they served their purpose as Jon was growing up and he was the whole reason they ever came to be. These rules developed over time and although there have been other rules submitted for consideration, we didn’t want this to become the Alabama constitution with hundreds of amendments being added on, so eventually we just stopped.
When Jon was younger, he was terribly afraid of tornadoes. We spent much time in my husband’s office in the basement of our previous house watching James Spann and coloring while waiting on bad weather. At the first sign of a storm anywhere in our state, Jon was heading to the basement. Spann would always say to leave your mobile homes and seek shelter several times during the coverage and finally Jon asked me why. I tried to explain that those structures weren’t secured as well to the ground as a house like ours and were therefore more apt to blow away in the storm. Eventually, I just told Jon that as scared as he was of tornadoes, his number one rule in life should be Never live in a mobile home.
As I told Tim the story later we decided that it was good rule in a deeper sense. We wanted Jon to have roots, to be secure and to feel like part of a community. The rule came to mean that he should strive for those things, not feel like he could just pick up and leave his family, his friends, his home or his faith. Even if he physically moved away, his roots should still be in his family and faith.
Not too long after that, Jon got cold at the movies and noticed I had brought a sweater, even though it was warm outside. I told him that rule #2 was Always bring a sweater to the movies. Again, after talking about it, we realized that it went deeper than just a sweater. It meant to be prepared. When you know where you are going, get ready accordingly.
Later on, Jon went to a party and drank some sort of blue Kool Aid stuff. For a kid who didn’t drink sugary or carbonated drinks at all, it did not sit well with him. Being someone who hasn’t had caffeine or carbonation in about 30 years myself, I warned him with rule #3-Never drink anything blue. By this I meant, watch what you put in your body. I have watched my son drink the occasional blue drink since, but this rule makes him stop and think. He knows to consider the consequences before he takes, eats or drinks anything.
While at a crowded event at a park downtown, we saw mounted policemen patrolling the area. While watching one policeman nearby on his horse, we saw a man (who probably just had a few lovely, adult beverages) try to mess with the policeman’s horse. We quickly told Jon that rule #4 was Never mess with a policeman’s horse. We expanded that to mean respect authority, respect people and animals, respect the rules.
And lastly, while watching a football game we saw a player who kept turning to run with the pass he had just caught, except for one small problem. He turned to run before he had actually caught and secured the ball. This caused many dropped passes. The player was heading to the goal line before he had actually gotten the ball. So rule #5 became Don’t run until you have the ball. Make sure that you take your time to do what needs to be done, before you head off to the next step. You have to train for what you want in life, you can’t just say you want to be famous with no plan. You can’t score a touchdown if you don’t have the ball.
Over the years these rules have been useful for us and although they don’t cover everything and they aren’t much to live by on face value only, we have seen deeper meanings over and over in these simple rules. For a little boy, they were easy to remember and easy to relate to. Maybe we do need 73 rules in order to cover everything, but more rules to follow would just mean more rules to break or stress over trying not to break. Sometimes simpler is better.
