Last night my son Jon and husband Tim came to the final dress rehearsal of the play I am in right now. My son just started a new job and can not come to any other performance so this was his only option to see our work. I am extremely fortunate to have such a great team to support me. They both are very positive and try to be there for me when I have my inevitable meltdowns and depression during the process of rehearsing a show. I don’t know about everyone else, but I have such self doubt and panic during the weeks leading up to a show. I am such a perfectionist that I take every note personally and I fret over every word I miss, every time I make a wrong move and anytime I am not right where I need to be. Having two guys around who have been involved in theatre to some degree and can get me through those rough patches is invaluable.
Last night, as I introduced my guys to the others I have been working with all of this time, I mentioned that Jon had been a football player in high school and college. I often do that, even though time has passed and I guess I should stop. But it means a lot to me that he did that, and I think it means a lot to him as well. Don’t get me wrong, he has been very successful since his football days and I am very proud of all he has accomplished in such a short amount of time. But somehow, to me at least, saying you played football in high school and especially in college says a lot about you in a very short statement. It is a lot of the same things I think saying you are an actor says about you. It means that you know how to work as a team. It means you are doing something beyond just school and work. It means you know how to “play hurt” for the sake of your teammates. It means you know how to push yourself further than you ever thought you could. It means you train and practice for something that not only makes you feel fulfilled, but also entertains and takes others out of their own lives and gives them something to cheer about.
In school I always heard the theatre kids complain about the athletes. How they get so much more attention, how they get more help and consideration. I watched my son try to juggle class work with hours of weight training, team meetings, and then more hours of football practice. I saw how much work he tried to do in one day and I know how grueling it was. I used to say that I didn’t see how those boys did all that was expected of them without a personal assistant! When I went back to school I realized how much extra work was expected of us as theatre students. I would tell my son, who had graduated by then, of all of the extra things I had to do and he told me that even with his schedule at two of the top schools in the state, he never had as much on him as I did! I am not sure which of us had the most, but I know we both had way more than the average student!
I think instead of being at odds, the theatre geeks and the jocks should be able to appreciate what the other is doing since we both are learning so much and working so hard. I always told Jon in high school that although he probably would never play football in college or the pros (what do I know!) he was learning valuable lessons for life. The same can be said for me- I knew I would never go off to Broadway, but I tried to learn the life lessons presented to me as I studied acting. How to work with others and take the team concept to a whole new level. How to take criticism and turn it into positive growth, not a reason to give up. (I still have trouble with that one sometimes.) How to keep pushing when you think you have done all you can do. How to think on your feet and problem solve as things are happening on the field or on the stage. How to worry as much about the guy next to you as you do about yourself ( the best and biggest lesson!)
I see where Jon has the wisdom that so many people lack. He is a tough guy, with a soft heart. He works well with others and has good common sense. He pushes himself and tries to do the best job he can in everything he does. He had the advantage of being on the football field in the fall and then in show choir and doing plays in the spring all through high school, which gave him a double dose of training and an appreciation for both worlds. As the mom of a player, I too feel like I have experienced both worlds. And I feel lucky to have been there to cheer him on every single time he ever stepped on a football field and now he makes it a point to be there every time I step on a stage. (And last year we were able to do a show together, which is a mom’s dream come true!)
I have been so worried about the show I am in now, because I don’t want to let the others I am on stage with down. They are so good at what they do and as a team member, I want to do my part. I didn’t feel like I was. Last night, with my guys there in the small audience for our preview, I finally felt the calm and the possibility that maybe I could get through this. I felt the team support of not only my cast mates, but especially my “life team” out there in the dark. I know God is always there with me, but I am glad He sent me these two guys to be with me also.
There is nothing better than feeling part of a team, whether it is a play’s cast, a big football team or a small family team. Knowing that you can work together for a common goal is a feeling I would hope everyone could feel at some point. And the lessons you learn from that experience will spill over into everything you do for the rest of your life. Go team!
