I just saw an interview between Steve Harvey and Oprah Winfrey. It was hard to tell who was interviewing whom although it was on Harvey’s talk show. Oprah was telling a story of when she was a young lady working on a local TV station in Baltimore. She had turned in her notice, ready to take the leap and move to Chicago. Her boss at the station in Baltimore told her not to leave. He told her she was a big fish in a small pond and if she moved to a bigger “pond” she would just get eaten up. She left anyway and the rest, as they say, is history!
Last week I heard someone else talking about a person we both know. They said this person was convinced she was a big fish in a small pond, but didn’t realize that she was in a bigger pond than she thought and that she was not as big of a fish as she imagined.
All of this got me to thinking about the decision I have just made.
When I was five years old until I was eight, I did lots of plays with my dad. At the age of nine my parents suddenly decided I should retire and pay more attention to school. When I asked to go back to the theatre at about the age of twelve I was strongly discouraged. I have always blamed that on my dad, but new information has made me rethink the situation. That story will be for another day.
When I decided almost 7 years ago to go back to school to study theatre, I had my parents over for dinner and told them what I was planning to do. My dad started to laugh and then he said, ” You still think you are going to be a star. What a joke!” Now remember he was in my house!
I have never and will never think I am going to be a star!! The amount of self confidence I have, especially in the theatre world, hardly gives me the strength to audition. And I am always shocked that anyone casts me!! A star?? What a laugh!
He continued with the words he had said to me when I tried to study theatre right after high school. He told me that it was doubtful I would ever be a big fish in this little pond, but if I ever tried to move to a big pond, I’d be swallowed up. Those words uttered over 40 years before were the bricks on my head that had held me down, kept me from trying, kept me from believing, kept me from growing. But when said again 7 years ago, they ignited a flame that kept me going through three years of voice lessons, dance classes, late nights studying, and scary auditions with 20 year olds in order to get that degree!
The thing I told my friend the other day that people don’t seem to get is that if you have a passion for something you don’t care if you are a big fish or a guppy. You don’t care if you are in a little pond, the ocean, or a drying up puddle. All you want, all you care about is swimming. You just have to keep on swimming. It is what makes you you. It is what keeps you going, makes you happy, fills your soul.
I have seen people who “love” to sing or act not get the big part they thought they should. Because of that they quit. My response has always been the same. If they really “loved” to sing and act, they would sing and act: in a small part, in any part, with a small theatre, in a group of friends on the side of the road. They would sing because they HAVE to sing. They would act anywhere, anytime they could. If they only did it to be a “star” then I say “adios!” Probably your passion is somewhere else anyway, so go find it!!
Worrying about if you always get the lead part or you are in the top group, how things look to others or if you are a big enough fish means you are worrying about the wrong things. Why worry at all!?? If you are getting to do what you love, then swim fishy, swim! Don’t let the people who are worried about all of the wrong things talk you out of staying in the water. Sometimes you will fail, which is great because you learn for next time. Sometimes you get caught in a drain or fall off of a waterfall. Keep swimming! Sometimes you feel like the water you are in is too deep. Keep swimming! Sometimes you will feel like you have swum into the sewer. Keep swimming!! Sometimes you feel like you have been thrown up on shore, drying out, losing your breath. Keep trying! Eventually, you will be back where you long to be, swimming in whatever water you can find.
So all of you big fish out there, watch out. There may be lots of little fish swimming around in the pond with you soon. It’s OK though, we aren’t there to take your spot, we just gotta swim, too.
