My Alma Mater, the University of Montevallo was named as one of the most socially awkward colleges in the U.S. a year or two back. It was a joke around campus and we congratulated each other on being socially awkward and being recognized for it. It was a joke around my house and since my guys already were snooty about UM not having football, this just added to the jokes. I was cool about it, and I will tell you why.
As long as I can remember, each fall, young girls and boys head off to college and a large number of them hinge their potential for success on rush and what sorority or fraternity they pledge. Girls especially stress over what to wear, how to act, and if they have enough “recs” to get them where they want to be. As a high school graduate I really had no idea how it all worked. I had been in a prestigious high school social sorority, something that has died out nowadays. Even though my dad was super prejudiced against these institutions, I was allowed to join when the girls of ZKD came to rush him instead of me. I was asked to accept one of only three coveted “honorary” memberships given to a senior each year. The sororities encompassed all of the schools in the metro area so getting voted into one of those spots was an honor. But my dad said no. That is when the girls started visiting him, bringing cookies to him and making pillows for him. Eventually he relented and I was thrilled. But when I was ready to go through college rush he again said absolutely not. I moved down to Tuscaloosa early and went through rush anyway. But I got caught and was out before I got good started. When my son went off to college he also had a rather unhappy rush experience and after pledging, dropped out after one day! But this is not about me or him.
This summer when I went with recently graduated girls to Panama on a mission trip, I heard a lot of discussion about sororities and it brought it all back to me- the upset, the rejection and the arguments at my house when I was a teen. And I heard the anxiety in the voices of these young girls as they discussed their chances and their preparations for this yearly ritual of rush.
When I reentered the college world a few years ago, I saw the usual t-shirts, sweatshirts and canvas tote bags proclaiming what sorority or fraternity the other students were in. I , of course, was too old and had no plan to get involved, but I did take notice of who belonged where and I noticed a strange and wonderful thing. For all of the yearly articles about the University of Alabama (and other schools) who still have segregated Greek life, Montevallo appeared to be fully integrated. And not only did I see students of color in what were traditionally white clubs, but I also saw gay members. At first I was so surprised. I though it was a national “rule” to discriminate, but it is obviously the individual schools that are making this call. And my school, my socially awkward school, is out there getting it right where the larger schools are failing.
I have seen Montevallo students embrace what would have been outcasts in other places. Hey! They embraced me! I know theatre people are more open and accepting than most, but I saw this all over campus. So if socially awkward means you don’t discriminate and if it means you love people for who they are, not the color of their skin, their age, or their sexual orientation then sign me up! Now don’t get me wrong, it was not a total love fest. We had people we were not fond of, but it was because they were full of themselves or they were mean or they were unprofessional. And even then we tried to help them grow and would try to give them the benefit of the doubt. And yes, there were some racist and homophobic students. I never understood why they wanted to be there when they were so obviously uncomfortable, but even they were not shunned and I stood in the midst of some very heated “discussions” that seemed to go nowhere. For the most part, though, I saw more acceptance, support and tolerance at Montevallo than anywhere I have ever been. In the midst of the yearly finger pointing to the sororities at Alabama and their prejudiced ways, and the blog posts I have recently read from others who have been a part of that system, either as a rejected prospective member or a white sorority girl apologizing for what she did “back in the day” I can proudly say that we liberal arts types, who are socially awkward and often considered misfits, are making strides in the right direction. So I will continue to talk young people I know into attending my Alma Mater and I am proud to be called socially awkward.
