My mother is a recluse. For years she really didn’t care to venture past the property she and my Dad live on. Now she doesn’t really want to leave the house, not even to visit with her beloved dogs on the front porch. She has all sorts of excuses why she stays in, some more valid than others, but most of them are just that- excuses.
My father on the other hand is full of energy and wants to be out doing something all of the time. It is definitely a bone of contention between them, each not really understanding the other.
I am afraid I inherited both of their personalities. If that seems confusing and difficult between two married people, you should try having both tendencies in one brain!
About 6 years ago I was very disturbed by the things I had experienced as president of a large organization of women. When my two year tenure ended, I took some time to rethink a lot of things. I came down to two choices, to either become a recluse bodybuilder or go back to college.
Since I began doing theatre at the age of 5, I had wanted to study theatre, dance and voice. I was not allowed that opportunity as a child, teenager or young adult, so I chose to go back to college and get the degree I had always wished for. Since finishing college two years ago, I have worked hard to use the knowledge I had gained to work in my field. For the most part I have done most of what I wanted and have stayed pretty busy.
Now, once again, I feel the other side of my personality seeping out, enticing me to just stay home and not put myself through all of the nonsense that is life involving other people. I know I am sensitive, I freely have admitted that my whole life. Even in this blog I have talked about being sensitive. I have stated that I do not care to change in that regard. I think feeling emotions deeply and being in tune with my feelings is important as an actress and a decent human being.
But very often it is difficult. And when you add in my Spanish temper and my predisposition to just say to hell with it all and stay in my house, well, it gets tricky.
Although I certainly feel the urge to stay indoors, whether because of the excessive heat, the insensitivity of members of the human race or my DNA, another side of me wants to go out and see the world, help my fellow man and express my creativity.
Looking over my calendar for the next few months, I know that my energetic, gregarious side will win out. But if you see me out and about, be gentle. It might not take much for me to scurry back to the safety of my own space. After all, life as a recluse bodybuilder doesn’t sound so bad!
