I worked with a group that tries to bring the arts to kids. I say “tries” because I often wonder. I don’t wonder about the heart of our director, I don’t wonder about the need of the kids, I wonder about me and my abilities. I wonder if I approached things the right way. I wonder if this is indeed what God called me to do. I know the director feels called, I am not so sure about me.
One of my issues was that the kids were not consistently there. I had a slightly different group every week. We couldn’t put on a play because the reading level is low and the kids didn’t want to have to memorize anything. Combined that with the lack of consistency and the best we usually could do was “read” a spoken word piece.
This past semester I asked them each to finish four sentences for me.
1) I dream of-
2) I wish that-
3) I hope that-
4) I pray for-
They, of course, complained about having to actually write and most of them did the very minimum. Some thought that their minimum would make me angry, others pointed out those who did little to nothing in order to make me angry. I sincerely tried to find validity in each response through all of the finger pointing and yelling.
I told the kids not to put their names on their papers, fold them up and pass them around the room, so that each person read someone else’s writing. And no one knew who’s they were reading. I had the adult volunteers in the room write also and mix theirs in. I don’t know who wrote what, although I could tell the adult responses from the kids.
One kid wrote “live” as the response to each line. The person who had to read that page was furious. “This makes no sense,” she said. “Someone didn’t even try!”
Below is a copy of what I did with the responses they gave me that day. I came home and put their words together. It is the spoken word piece we worked on most of the semester and presented on the last day. We saw over 20 kids this semester, although on average we had 12-14 per day. Four family members showed up for the program. Only 3 of the 7 kids who performed had been there when the parts were handed out. No one person had been there for a majority of rehearsals except for me.
Did it go well? We had our struggles during final rehearsals the day of our presentation. But as with most kids, when the audience, meager as it was, showed up they made it work.
Did the kids learn anything? ANYTHING????? I am not sure. At best I hope they got a little more comfortable with their public speaking and that is an important skill to have. But maybe if others read the words they wrote it will help me to feel better, even though my feeling better is not the point. Maybe the fact that they said these words multiple times and heard the words over and over will matter some day. We shall never know.
BECOMING ME
Can you see me? I am here.
Please don’t let me disappear.
I long for life and all good gifts.
Help me help the world to shift.
I want to be safe, for everyone to feel safe.
I want to live, live, live.
And I want better; a better world, a better place, for life to get better.
I wish for people to do better.
When we learn better, we must do better.
I want to learn to be better.
I want to live, live, live.
I want peace, peace on earth.
I want the violence to stop and I want to be heard.
I want a home of peace, a community of peace, a world of peace.
I want to live, live, live.
God use me to make these dreams come true.
Help me to show the world a mighty You.
Help me to be the person you made me to be,
Help me to be the real me.
I want to live, live, live.
I want to be in the day, to learn from the day.
I want to grow in this day, love in this day.
I want to find love, joy, beauty and peace today.
I want to live, live, live.
I will find that star to reach for,
I will find that dream to share.
I will rest with God all mighty
And I will spread His love and care.
I want to live, live, live.
Because I am me, always will be.
And “me” is a great thing to be!
So I will live, live, live.
Live, live, live, live, live…
LIVE!
