I hate to admit it, but it doesn’t take much to derail me these days.
I know my resolution for 2017 was to be more flexible and to go with the flow, but I was way too optimistic to think that I could have my life totally blown off course and recover well.
I was taken off course with an appointment I thought would take a couple of hours on Monday and turned into a day and a half fiasco. Add in the striking of one show and the beginning of a workshop full of 25 kids plus other appointments I had to get to and you have a week that I thought would never work itself out.
Finally, I thought I was getting a handle on things yesterday-six days later! Unfortunately, after getting a job done that is never my favorite, I had the wind knocked out of me again and the work I had just completed has to be redone.
The only high point in all of this is that I got to do another commercial with some very gifted people again. The down side to that is that I did not feel like myself trying to get that done. I know you have to be “in the moment” and put all that you have into any acting job, but I just don’t feel like I did my best. I don’t seem to be able to right this ship very easily.
As always, lunch with my guys has put me in a better mood, but unfortunately I am facing more turmoil in the days ahead.
And therein lies the problem. I liked my calm, predictable, SCHEDULED life. I feel that saying I would be open to where the wind takes me was a mistake. It is like I told the universe- “HEY! Blow me around! I’m ready!”
Guess what? I am NOT ready! I don’t like the unexpected. I might know it is going to happen from time to time, but I don’t like it.
Sure, I was bored the first of the year with my clean house and quiet days at home. Of course I thought, “there must be more to life than reading, cleaning and cozy days with my cat.” I was WRONG! That was lovely and I was too full of myself to see it.
So here I am, in the midst of disorder and confusion and I long for those days of quiet and serenity. We never know how good we have it until things change.
Be careful what you wish for. Or resolve. You might finally find a resolution that you are forced to keep!
