Yesterday was an odd day. I was so looking forward to being done with this semester. I was tired and after Friday, sad and doubting myself terribly. But when Saturday dawned I woke up and realized I had nothing pressing to do. Tim brought me pancakes from the Boy Scout pancake breakfast so I ate. I went outside and did a little work on the back porch but I would stop and think, “What am I supposed to be reading, oh yeah, nothing!” So I got a magazine and read on the patio.
Then we went to the cemetery and put plants on the graves of Tim’s grandparents and uncle before getting some lunch. Then I came home and started to see what project was due and remembered, “Oh, nothing!”
Bathed and dressed and went out to dinner and came home going over the words to a song and realized nothing was coming up. NO rehearsal, NO exam, NO performance, nothing! And although I was so exhausted and I do need this break, I am sort of sad already to be done for awhile! And although I am SO looking forward to the beach next week, I am sort of missing my school friends and the excitement and turmoil of constantly being under pressure.
I know in a few days I will be in the “hang out at home” mode and thoughts of going back to school in July will be a 4 week interruption to a perfectly good summer. And when fall rolls around I will be longing for this feeling of nothing to do. But for now I am struggling to get my mind around “nothing.”