I know that I am an old fuddy-duddy, but as you have read here before I do love change. (I am actually contemplating a big change that might blow your mind- something you could never guess I would do.) However, I like positive change, not just change for the sake of change or change out of laziness. Losing our manners and good graces is not a change for the better.
As a theatre critic I try to be as fair as possible. I learned while studying theatre in college to write about my full theatre experience, not just my impressions of the play. How you are treated by the theatre staff and what happens around you affects how you see a play. I do not write about the plot much in my reviews because you can find that on Wikipedia if that is all you are interested in. I am more concerned about what sort of creativity was used by the cast and crew, how good of a job they did and the feelings I came away with.
Often I have written about how my night has been ruined by people talking during a show. Let me make it clear, there is no reason to talk (or sing) during a show if you are an audience member. If you are attending a show with me and you talk, all you will get is a dirty look. I will not respond, and you probably won’t go to a show with me again. I did not pay good money to hear you sing along with the performer I did pay to hear. If you are that good of a singer, then audition. Otherwise, wait until you are in the car to sing that show tune. (Your own car, not mine.)
I still believe in treating the theatre with respect and dressing up for the event. I know times have changed. We don’t dress for dinner. We don’t dress to go downtown. I will show my age and say that I remember my mom dressing us up to go downtown to the movie theatre- the Alabama, the Melba, the Ritz. (Some of these later became adult movie houses and I am sure people continued to “dress up”, but we won’t go there.) I am to the point that I would be satisfied if people at least take a bath and get out of their sweats. I have been stuck beside people that I think didn’t even do that much.
I have come to accept that people want food in the theatre and that it is more money to be made by the theatre, although the crunching and slurping can be distracting. I realize people want to wear jeans everywhere and don’t love dressing up like I do, so I will keep my judgements to myself. As much as it pains me, the days of Downton Abbey type manners are long gone. (And no, I am not old enough to remember that time personally and that was bad manners to ask!) I realize that measuring how far your fork was from your other fork when the table was set was a waste of time and resources. However, the manners that I am talking about still matter.
Manners basically boil down to being kind, thoughtful, and making things pleasant for those around you. Having some semblance of decency and order makes life better for everyone. Being respectful of what a performer is doing by leaving your phones put away and paying attention to their efforts is not only good for the people around you, but lets you fully engage in what you are there to do- forget your day to day existence and be entertained and/or moved in some way.
Going to the theatre means you have to plan ahead a bit. You need to make a reservation if you want to be assured a seat. Don’t bitch if you get there unannounced and there is no spot for you. You have to leave home early enough to get there well before the play begins, so that you are not climbing over people during the opening of the show. You need to research what you are seeing, so that you aren’t horrified that you or your child sees something you aren’t prepared for. In other words, check out my reviews. I won’t tell you the story line, but I will tell you if it is racy or violent. Pee before the show and at intermission, don’t climb over me mid-scene. Be prepared to sit there quietly and be absorbed into the world of the play.
I know I will never get my wish to have people dress up regularly and live more graciously and lovely. I certainly hope that the desire for a more casual lifestyle doesn’t mean people feel free to show up unannounced or crunch their way through a play, think it is OK for them to just take a quick look at their phones during a show, or discuss a character while he is still onstage. I hope that live theatre will continue to have a sense of decorum associated with it and that my comments as a critic of the theatre will have some influence on how people conduct themselves as an audience member. Even if the rest of the world goes to ill mannered hell in a casual basket, maybe the world of the theatre can remain a vestige of good manners.
