I asked Jon how he would feel if his girlfriend someday said, “I love you, but I hate your beard, your clothes, what you do for a living and your church.” He looked at me and said, “Well, it would be pretty obvious she doesn’t really love me!”
When we say we love someone, but have to qualify that, I have a hard time seeing it as love. So how do we profess to love someone, and then say we hate the very core of their being? If every time we mention how we “love everyone” we have to qualify that, I have to question how honest we are being. It makes me think of the old Peanuts cartoon where I believe it is Lucy who says, “I love mankind, it’s people I hate!” I will be the first to say I don’t love everyone. I know I am supposed to. And I don’t wish anyone any ill will. I hope everyone has a wonderful life, there are just some people that I hope have that wonderful life far away from me! I strive to love everyone, but I just don’t.
See, I think love of every kind has to involve some sort of respect and acceptance. The old “love the sinner, hate the sin” doesn’t get it for me because if I find it necessary to point out and “hate” someone’s sin, then I wonder how much I really love, respect and accept them. While some people think it is OK to say they love everyone, but have to point out hating homosexuality as a “sin” to hold up above all of the other sins, I take issue. Do you really love someone if you hate something so fundamental to who they are?
If I said to any of my readers that I loved them, but hated the fact that they are adulterous whores, I believe they would take issue. (That is a very harsh and jarring statement- it was hard to even type! But I am making a point.) I would be a terrible, judgmental and unfair person, not to mention totally rude if I said such a thing!! Yet I can find Bible passages to support everyone who is divorced as being adulterers. However, I am not going to spend my time judging everyone who is divorced. It is practically everyone I know and admire! I don’t hate the fact that they are divorced. For whatever reason, they did what they felt they had to do to have the life they needed. Is that a sin? Who am I to judge or even wonder about that!!? And if I love them, I can not “hate” something that is a part of their lives like that. I feel like if I did generally hate something like that, it would put a dent in the love I feel for them by judging them in that way.
Jesus told us to love each other. Jesus did not ask us to love everyone, but make sure you seek out and hate their sins. “Ain’t nobody got time for that!” If I hate a big part of who you are, can I really and truly love you as I love myself?? I don’t know about you, but there are a lot of flaws in my character that I try to sweep under the carpet. I don’t have time to search for your “sins” and point them out, “hate” them.
Do you really know what all of your straight friends are doing in the bedroom? Is it any of your business?? Would you find it sinful?? Alarming?? Boring?? Why should you even care?? Why are your gay friends to be treated differently? And just who are you to judge someone on that criteria?? Who are you to judge anyone, at all??
I was taught that sin is whatever separates us from God. Some of the best Christians I know are gay, divorced, shrimp eaters, or any number of other things that some people look down on and the Bible points out as sinful. I don’t really see how any of those things separate us from God. So I have to think most of these things aren’t even sins to begin with, just old outdated mandates from thousands of years ago. What does separate me from God is worrying about others people’s business instead of trying to be a better person myself.
I posted that I will argue with you if I disagree with you, but I will defend your right to say what you think. When we take away someone else’s right to free speech, we eventually take away our own rights. But really think before you speak. And be honest. If you profess to “love” everyone, don’t put qualifications or judgements on it. Just love everyone. And I’ll keep working on trying to do the same.
