The other day I reposted a Facebook status that I really liked. Many other people liked it and shared it. It basically said that you don’t have to fit the stereotypes, you can be a multitude of seemingly contradictory things, believe many sides of an issue. I felt it said that we can be our own complex, thoughtful, real person.
One friend who shared the statement had one of their friends (someone I don’t know) immediately dispute the post. Since I personally believed the way the entire post was worded (that is why I shared it!) I was curious to know what he thought was inaccurate. If you have been reading this blog for long, you know I am interested in other’s opinions and I want to try to be as open and accurate as possible.
The guy pointed out one problem he had. I made a statement as to why I didn’t agree with his response. He then went on a tirade where he made it clear that he and I were not on the same side of ANY issue. I told him that evidently we were not going to see eye to eye and since I had my life to live, as did he, I was going to bid him a kind farewell and move on.
And I did.
I was reminded of this exchange today when a morning talk show pointed out that their guest from Friday had been harassed all weekend because of a statement she made. She is a very young, very conservative news host, but she expressed one issue where she has what could be considered a more liberal stand. Her conservative audience found it to be hypocritical, so the harassment began.
The question that comes up to me is- when did we sign an oath to believe whatever crazy idea a certain political party or organization decides? I thought we were allowed to make up our own mind about each individual issue. Why does the fact that I believe in gay rights for example suddenly mean I HAVE to believe everything in the “liberal agenda”?
If there is one thing I do tend to have a problem with, it is be being told what to think or how to think it. When I was growing up, my father would order meals for my mother, my brother and me in restaurants. Not knowing any better, I thought that was his job. I remember the first time that my mom went out to eat with me and my son when he was about three years old. He ordered his own food and told the waitress exactly what he wanted and how he wanted it prepared. He was polite and kind, but sure of what he liked and wanted. My mother was astonished he did that on his own and said so.
When it came time to vote, my parents would take me to the polls with them. I saw my father give my mother a sheet of paper where he had written down who she was supposed to vote for. He would explain it to her on the drive to the school where they voted. Again, I just thought that is what a husband did.
Now I realize that in essence he got 2 votes! Of course, once that curtain was pulled I guess she could have done what she wanted, but since I walked in the booth with her, I know she studied the page he had given her and voted accordingly. I also know that once I was old enough to understand the world a bit better, they both lost some credibility because of this. You cannot tell someone else what to think. And you cannot let anyone, especially some organization, tell you everything you are supposed to believe.
I worry about the labels we put on people and the assumptions we make once we label them a certain way. We are all different and no label is accurate for an entire group. You can call me white and all that you might believe about me because of that label, but I am half Puerto Rican. So what does that mean? You can call me a southerner, but my liberal ideas and international thoughts might not fit that stereotype.
Not only are most labels too confining, they are inaccurate. Add in whatever preconceived notion you have about a label and you are probably way off of the mark calling anyone anything. Think I am sweet and quiet because I am a woman? WRONG! Think I am narrow minded because I am a Christian? WRONG! Think I am all fluff because I love the arts and fashion? WRONG!
Trying to box people into neat little groups is what is causing such a divide in our nation. Making assumptions about others is something that is making us all suspicious of everyone we see, especially if they look different from us. If they are ___ then they must be ___.
It makes me sad that whenever someone believes differently from you, even on one issue, you feel that you have to turn your back on that person. It makes me sad that the divides are getting bigger. It makes me sad that labels are getting more intense and more prolific instead of going away.
I guess you can call me whatever you want, I just wish that the title didn’t come with baggage that I don’t carry. I wish you would just call me Marietta. I haven’t ever really liked the name, but it is mine. And if you took the time to really know me, then maybe the other names you want to call me would not seem as accurate. Maybe you would learn I am a hodge-podge of lots of different ideas, beliefs and feelings. That no one label defines me, just as I am sure no one label defines you.
Just because you voted for a person doesn’t mean you have to agree with everything they do. Let go of what party they ran under and really look at what they are doing and saying now.
Just because you married someone, you don’t have to eat what they pick for you or vote for whomever they vote for. Follow your own thoughts, study and make smart decisions on your own. We are so fortunate to live in a free country where we don’t have to fit into a certain box or believe a certain way.
Use your brain, your mind, and your heart to make your own choices. And while you realize that you don’t fit the labels put on you, remember that the person next to you, down the street and on the other side of town or the world probably doesn’t fit a certain label either.
Placing labels on individuals and blindly following organizations is the start of real trouble- check your history.
