I was reminded today of a story I have told several times about why I first started blogging. Almost 11 years ago I went back to college and knew that I would not be able to see my friends as often, so I began blogging so that I could share with them what was happening with me an hour away at the University of Montevallo.
If you remember the story, the two main people that I thought would be my only audience hardly ever read my blog! When I first wrote, I did so with them in mind. I wrote what I thought would interest them or make them laugh.
When I came to the realization that they weren’t reading it, I changed my focus a bit. I found out that my fellow students were my main readers so I skewed things a bit more towards what they might find interesting or funny.
Today I was reminded how we all tend to speak the way we think our audience needs us to speak. As a performer it is important to “know your audience” or “read the room”. If you see that the crowd is losing interest or not laughing at your material, you have to make a shift and quick!!
Even Jesus spoke differently when going from a story he shared with his disciples, to one he is telling to the Pharisees. In Bible study this morning we were told that He tailored what He had to say to whom He was speaking. (Consistent message, slightly different messaging.) The minister even admitted that he himself will see a group of church members in his mind as he writes sermons, sort of anticipating what they might have to say about his message. (Again, consistent message, slightly different messaging.)
It made me chuckle because I can’t tell you how many times I have written a post, thinking about a certain person and how they might respond to what I am sharing. What makes that funny is that usually I get a comment from someone I had no idea even read my blog and it will stop me in my tracks. I never took into account that that person was reading this or would have anything to say!! (Of course, I also usually find out the person I was imagining reading the post never even sees it!!)
Even my last blog, which was all about getting ready for a 5K this weekend, was met with a few comments I hadn’t anticipated while the people I wrote it for (in order to let them know it was coming up and that I was ready) told me they hadn’t read it!
So often in life we do things to try to show off or to explain ourselves to people who aren’t even paying attention. We wonder what people might think about something we do or say only to find out they never knew we had said or done anything.
It also shows that sometimes, the very ones we think might need to hear something, aren’t listening but someone we never even considered is soaking it all in.
While walking today, I thought about how different we all are, how we perceive things differently and hear things differently. How when I would write about one person while I was in college, someone else would ask me “were you talking about me?” My standard answer was always, “No, but if you see yourself in what I wrote, then maybe that is food for thought!”
I have learned to write in even broader strokes because where we all see things differently, we are all very much alike. Where it might seem to me that someone will be interested or needs to hear something I decide to say, it will probably be someone completely off of my radar who gets the message. And often it isn’t even the message I thought I was sharing!! (What do I know anyway!?)
Thinking again about Bible study, I imagine when Jesus talked to his disciples, each one took what he said slightly different from the next, each one having their own personalities and life experiences. On the other hand, those parables have a message for all of us because while very different, we are all very much alike.
I drove home the other day after spending time with someone I thought I knew very well. I was puzzled by some of the things they said and by the time I got home, I had decided that I will never understand people.
Trying to tailor what to say to your audience seems almost impossible now with so many ideas that seem to come from places that are beyond what I can comprehend. Writing blog posts less often has been my answer to what I can say that won’t start an argument or get people stirred up.
Bottom line, as usual, I’ve learned that staying true to what I honestly think, what I see and how I see it, is all I can do. If I stray too far from what I believe I tend to feel like I lost a part of me in order to stay out of the fray. When I am unsure exactly what I think, I try to just stay quiet. If I know it is too controversial, it isn’t knowing my audience that keeps me from writing, it is knowing me. I don’t like confrontation so I just keep it to myself. But when I really feel the need to speak, I do. And as I get older, I worry less and less about what “my audience” might think.
As an artist, I think that you create what you feel compelled to create. You can’t let everyone else’s opinion muddy the pure inspiration that you feel. It makes you question every step along the process if you are concerned with what someone else will see or hear or feel from what you have created.
Collaborative art gets tricky because it is hard to follow your own inspiration when the person next to you has a different vision. Writing, painting, etc is often a one person endeavor so you can stay true to your ideas and vision a little easier than say someone directing a play.
My husband often runs into people who want him to do a special piece for them and yet when he asks them for specifics they will tell him they don’t know what they want. When he throws out ideas he can tell that he isn’t hitting the mark although they have told him they have no idea what the mark is.
I’ve told him that although they may not realize it, they do have an idea, a vision somewhere in their mind and no matter how hard he tries, he will never be able see what is in their mind! They can’t even see it clearly themselves!! They just know it isn’t the idea he is showing them.
Many times he will show them something he has already done, something they had no input into at all, and they want that although it is not necessarily what they came in for. They contacted him because they love his work and when they lose their preconceived ideas and just look at Tim’s art, they find that common idea that makes them connect to something they had never imagined.
Sometimes you need to know your audience. Sometimes you need to read the room. Sometimes you just have to do you and hope that someone sees themselves in what you are doing. And usually someone will. Almost always someone else won’t.
We are all so very different. We are all so very much the same. Putting our true selves out there is difficult, but finding those areas of commonality and those places where we go our own direction make life both challenging and interesting. It makes us not understand each other at all and yet can bring us together if we are open to finding common ground.
I have found that usually knowing yourself is more important than knowing your audience, but know that if you follow your own drumbeat, you might get booed off of the stage. And sometimes that’s ok.
