I had lunch with a friend yesterday. According to that friend, I start many of my blog posts with “I had lunch with a friend and I got to thinking…” He told me that he almost wore a huge, crazy hat to be sure that I had something of interest to write about him and our lunch!
This particular friend actually has so many interesting things about him that I could write several blog posts! I always wonder why he even wants to have lunch with me- my life, especially now, is rather mundane, and he is way cooler and more creative than I am!
We talked about movies and plays, our professors from when we went to school together a decade ago, our writing and our plans. We discussed what each of us is working on, what we dream about working on “someday.”
We talked about how we approach writing and how we are fairly different in the way we write. I am more methodical and linear, he is more organic. I go straight through over and over, he works a section at a time, then moves on.
At one point he told me that my writing style is the same as my directing style. Being a director himself and since he has been in a few shows that I directed, I was very interested in how he perceived my “style.”
I had to ask him immediately, “Do I even have a directing style??”
I laughed, figuring that he would say, “Yes, the old ‘deer in the headlights, twisting in the wind style'” but instead he made strong connections between what I just told him about my writing and my directing.
It is always interesting for me to hear how other people see me. Very rarely do any of us see ourselves the way others see us. And I have to think that each person sees us differently from the next person.
I do think the way we see ourselves is important. Our self esteem, the way we carry ourselves, every thing we do is based on how we see ourselves. And I know that we shouldn’t be very concerned with how others see us.
Except we are. Right?
Why else would Instagram exist if we weren’t interested in putting out our images for others to see and possibly comment on?
I have a framed Story People print in my office that says, “I don’t have too many vices- beyond caring what other people think, she said, but that’s a big one.” To some point I think we all have that vice. The degree to which we let other people’s opinions of us cloud our own is the difference, I guess.
My friend pointed out that I had said that I write the whole thing out, then go back to edit for content, then again for grammar, then again for specific words. If I don’t at some point just stop, I would keep editing forever I think! (And even after all of that I still have errors!)
When I direct, I get the whole show loosely blocked according to how I saw the play in my head when I read it and then begin to go through and fine tune different aspects of the show. The same as my writing, but I had never really made that connection.
When I read a play, I read it for the overall story first. If I like it and maybe want to direct it, I reread it, this time seeing it acted out in my mind with my dream cast. Then I read it, writing down where I see the characters on stage and that is my initial blocking.
I read it again for costume and prop clues, then for scene changes, then for . . . Before the the first read through I have usually read the play between 10 and 15 times. When I write, I reread and edit over and over and over- the same style.
Whenever I have someone I trust and admire give me a glimpse into myself that I didn’t have before, I spend days pondering that insight. I go over and over the new revelation in my mind and try to cling to the positive things and think about if and how I should change the things that aren’t what I expect from myself.
The best part about a lunch like this is the inspiration I feel- sharing ideas, growing, seeing that somewhere in the midst of this pandemic and the creativity we have all had to struggle to keep alive, that there is still a fire inside of me that can not be extinguished by months of stagnation.
I realized that every time I have let my creativity go dormant, somewhere in there the seed of my imagination is germinating just under the surface, waiting for the right conditions to reappear and bloom.
During lunch we never talked about politics, although we have texted back and forth about such things over the last few months. We never really talked about the pandemic, other than to discuss the documentary I’m working on about “Working Without Pants”, the parking lot show we did last summer. It was nice to just discuss the important things like movies, TV, plays and art. It was fun to relive some college stories and talk about the people we miss from those days (and some of the ones we don’t!)
My friend is moving away soon and I am grateful for the modern age of texts and messenger to help us stay connected. I am grateful that we had a few minutes to let the world outside go and focus on what made us friends in the first place, our love of art and our love of discussion.
What more could you want from a lunch date than inspiration, insight, introspection, creativity and some big laughs?? What is better to write about than an enduring friendship between two different generations, genders and styles? And he didn’t even need to wear a huge, crazy hat to make it happen!
