I’ll be honest. I really don’t want to take the high road most of the time.
Last night we were listening to my son’s radio show during dinner, something we try to do as often as we can. They were discussing how a college coach was being blasted, although only one side of the story had been heard. I commented that the other side, the coach’s side, might be trying to take the high road by not commenting. My husband agreed. And my last comment on the subject was, “Man, that is so hard sometimes!”
When you feel you have been wronged and you want to fight back, but know that it is a useless argument, it is tough to take the high road.
When you see that someone you are discussing something with is out to start a fight at any cost, it is hard to just walk away and take the high road.
When you are accused of something that no one seems to want to hear your side of and fighting will only exhaust you and serve no real purpose, you know you should stop, but it is hard to take the high road.
When a discussion digresses, but you want to preserve a relationship, it is hard to take the high road.
So often, the high road seems to be turning that other cheek. And so often, that doesn’t really feel like the right or pleasant thing to do. When I have felt used and pushed to the breaking point, I have wanted to get down in the mud and fight it out. I want to defend each remark hurled at me. And I am never sure that I am doing or saying “the right thing.” I have my doubts that there even is a right thing most of the time.
But when faced with a narcissist or an angry person who wants little more than to be right or to start a fight, taking the high road usually means just walking away.
I really don’t know much about the situation with the coach being discussed last night. Maybe he is saying nothing because he did everything wrong. That is the other side of not defending yourself, that someone thinks you didn’t have a leg to stand on, so you fled.
When I think that the other person’s friendship is worth the fight, if I think they are reasonable and will at least listen to my side, I tend to go point by point and at least try to defend myself. But when I know that the hand was dealt before we ever started, that the person on the other side of the table had it in for me before a word was spoken, when I realize that it wasn’t ever really about me to begin with, but their issues, then I have to just walk away. Sometimes fragile friendships end.
But it is hard. You keep feeling like you should have fought harder, done something different, been feistier. What is easiest is seldom right. So I keep second guessing life and trying to do the best I can. The high road is often a rocky road.
