As many of you know, I grew up in the middle of the zoo. While that seems to many to be an exciting life to have lived, there were definitely drawbacks to being isolated in the middle of a city owned attraction that locked us inside of a fence each night.
I most felt the lack of neighborhood living during the summer when I saw no one but my small family, the zoo employees and the visitors to the zoo. But even that didn’t compare to the feeling of loneliness and exclusion I felt on Halloween.
For the most part, we kind of skimmed right past Halloween, but there were a few years when my father loaded us up and took me and my brother to a neighborhood to trick or treat. My dad usually sat in the car as my brother and I walked to a few houses that were in sight of his parked vehicle.
Most years I came up with a minimal, lame costume on my own. One year, when I was in the fourth grade, my father seemed unusually interested in Halloween and decided to help with my costume. I was going as a witch that year and he decided that I should be green. He promptly got out the green food coloring and smeared it all over my face, neck and hands.
For the next 3 to 4 weeks I was green. Even as it wore off, my eyebrows stayed green long past when my already naturally olive skin began to revert back to normal. It was certainly not worth the few pieces of candy I received. Since I have never liked chocolate, Halloween was really a let down most years!
When I married Tim and we had a home of our own, I was super excited to see the trick or treaters come to our house! I bought lots of really good candy (mostly chocolate since I know that is what most kids like. And also I know in the scheme of things it is probably better for kids than some kinds of candy! Plus there was the added benefit of not being tempted to eat any of it!) and handed it out liberally. I wanted to talk to each kid and ask why they chose their costume and what all they had gotten in their bags. Tim would just sit back and laugh as I tried to live through these kids the Halloween I never had.
Halloween was fun and exciting when we had our own child, but as children do, Jon grew up and wanted to go out on his own to trick or treat much too soon. Then he became an adult and decided he hated Halloween and everything involved.
Most of the luster of Halloween has worn off, going back and forth to the door to hand out candy just isn’t as fun after 35 years of life in a neighborhood. The isolation of my childhood is just a distant memory now and I imagine until I have grandkids, there is little to be done to spark the excitement of those first few Halloweens out of “captivity”!
This year, the day after Halloween, Dias de Los Muertos or Day of the Dead (All Saints to most of us) will be different. I have been asked to make a presentation in the mall where Homewood Theatre is located honoring a teacher or mentor who has passed on.
I am not sure if I am doing what I have been asked to do, the instructions were minimal, but I knew immediately who I wanted to honor and what I wanted to say. For three weeks I have memorized the words I have written and painted the frame I was given to perform in. I have put together a costume of sorts and given a lot of thought to the person who put me back on the path of performing at all.
The whole process has given Halloween a new focus and although, as usual, I am terrified that I am speaking and SINGING in front of others, it has been an interesting journey.
I have always wished I could take these performing journeys, learn, explore and rehearse, and when I get to the actual destination- the performance- I could jump ship. Usually I have to really push through to make myself finish the process. This process has been totally on my own, just like the Halloweens of my childhood, and thinking about standing in front of others now is scarier than facing a masked man with a chainsaw.
To honor my teacher, to fulfill my promise of performing, to step outside of my box again, I will do what I have rehearsed. In order to see Halloween in a new way, to start a new tradition for the theatre and the mall, I will do my best. For this year at least, my scary day will be November 1 instead of October 31 and I can only hope that I survive the horror!
