One of the things we were always told in class was go big! Make a choice and commit to it. If you make a mistake, make a big one! I saw that idea in practice tonight.
When I was a preschool teacher I had a student who did not talk. His mom had been very ill not long after he was born and she blamed herself for being in and out of the hospital and too busy fighting for her life to play and talk to this child as much as she had her other, older children. She asked me to help her to teach him to speak since she was so much healthier by the time he reached my class. I loved this child and his mom. She was one of those rare people that when they hugged you, you knew you had been hugged. For that school year I worked with this child to help him get used to speaking in class around others and his mom worked with him tirelessly at home. I saw progress by the end of the year.
About two years after he was in my class his mom got sick again and passed away. I was devastated and was depressed for weeks. Life is so unfair! I have had the privilege ever since to watch this boy from afar and see how outgoing and fun he has grown to be, so like his mom. I am not even sure he remembers I was his 3K teacher and it does not really matter.
Tonight I was helping Tim run sound at a middle school show choir concert. At one point he pointed out this boy I had taught so many years ago. He was pointing out how he had moved at the wrong time. But I saw him recover quickly and then move again at the right time. I noticed the other middle school boys who were looking at each other to make sure they were moving at the right time, always a beat behind. (I know all about that- in my dance classes that is exactly what I did. I finally learned in ballet to just go for it because it was repetitive enough that I thought I had it down. But in jazz, with new choreography every week, I was terrified to mess up. So I waited and watched.) What I observed from my former student was a guy not watching anyone. He threw his arms around in abandon, he moved with determination, he looked at the audience and was paying little attention to the other dancers except to make sure he did not run over them when he moved. I saw someone who epitomized the idea of go big! And I could not quit watching him!
I think back to the shy child who could not speak all of those years ago. I like to think I had a tiny part in helping him find his voice. Deep down I know it was his determined mom and a good father and step-mom who have helped him the most. And I know that tonight he taught me. The person I most admired out there was not perfect and he made those big mistakes, but he looked like he was having a ball and he put all of himself into what he was doing. He was the example I needed to see tonight. Go big or go home! Make a choice and if you make a mistake make a big one! Maybe his mom taught him that life is short. Maybe she taught him to hug like you mean it. Maybe I will listen now, too.
