I heard years ago that gifts were when you gave people things that they really wanted, not what you wanted them to have. A present is an obligation, not something done just out of love. A gift means more than a present. Maybe not the right definitions but something I heard and have thought about all of these years. Now I have those obligatory presents I buy each year but I try to keep them to a minimum. And I don’t give gifts just on holidays. I love to surprise someone when they least expect it.
I often think when I see Toys for Tots commercials how those kids feel the other days of the year, when no one gives a rat’s ass what happens to them. In fact, many people vote for politicians who deny these same kids all kinds of opportunities the rest of the year but let’s get them a bike for Christmas!
So back to my original thought. I like to surprise people all year round, including Christmas. I see things all of the time that remind me of my friends or someone at school. I see cookies for St. Patrick’s Day and think, “I’ll bet that would be fun in class tomorrow!” But I try to refrain from getting them because I don’t want to be misunderstood. My motives are pure but certainly can be misconstrued, as I learned today.
Sometimes someone helps me in ways that go beyond what I would have imagined. Some people are just so sweet and so helpful that they just go above and beyond what is expected. And I am a grateful person. I appreciate people who help me in situations where I am lost or unsure. I say thank you in a tangible way sometimes. Not always. Sometimes you just give a heartfelt thanks and I move on. But after lots of those moments I feel moved to do something for someone who has helped me again and again.
Bottom line- I love to surprise people. Give them something when they least expect it. Tim and I call it our “SC” moments. When someone is hurting and deserves a break. When someone is helpful and deserves a thanks. Usually we are “SC” anonymously so we can watch from afar and see the joy but not reap any tangible benefit. The joy is in the giving, not the recognition. I learned this generosity from Tim. He is the most generous person I have ever known. He would give away his last dime if I didn’t stop him! From him I have learned to love giving.
One of my favorite quotes is “Imagine what you could accomplish if you didn’t care who got the credit.” I am extremely fortunate not to need any “things”. I have everything and if something new comes along I just go get it. I am blessed beyond measure so sharing is just a natural progression. And I love to see people get that little jolt of excitement when they get an unexpected surprise. So I try to give gifts as often as possible and presents as little as I can. No presents out of obligation, only gifts of love. No expected presents or what I think someone needs but what someone else might desire when least expected. If that makes me a bad person then so be it.
So I am not going to change in this regard. I have done nothing wrong. I have loved and shown love. I have been grateful and shown gratitude. I have been moved and expressed my emotion. Anyone who sees it differently is out of kilter in their own mind.
Oh yeah, and Merry Christmas! The ultimate unexpected, given out of love gift that we celebrate each year.
