Come On – Really?

I try to be sensitive to people as much as I can. I try to be understanding to the fact that we are all different and see things in a different way. If something doesn’t hurt or concern me, I try to live and let live. Most things in this world are not my business and I have, nor do I desire to have any control over them.

Do you want purple hair? Fine by me! Want to wear a mask outside after you are vaccinated? Not hurting me, so why should I care? Want to watch horror movies? Enjoy! I don’t like them, but as long as you don’t tie me to a chair and force me to join you, it is not my concern.

However, I just saw a post that I have to comment on. It was about the movie Cruella, and quite frankly, it kind of infuriated me.

I am about to begin rehearsals on a play and I am so excited to get back to work! I am extra excited because I am being allowed to push the boundaries of what is usually produced at this theatre.

I’m not doing anything risque’ although I am not totally opposed to that. It is just a more serious topic and there is a bit more language than what is usually on that stage.

As a theatre group we will make sure that our audience is warned about the more mature story line and the language, so they can decide if they want to attend the play. If they don’t, that is their decision although in my opinion it will be their loss. If they think something a bit more mature and thought provoking is up their alley, then this might be something different for them to experience. It is up to the potential audience member to do their homework and make their decision.

The comment that I saw that sparked this post was from a parent who was upset because they took their child to see the new movie Cruella and were shocked to find that it wasn’t a sweet story about 101 Dalmatians! Come on- Really?

I don’t like scary movies and I am not much of a fan of violence in general. I accidentally saw a rather violent scene in a movie as a child and it gave me nightmares for years. People physically hurting other people is just not my cup of tea. If you like that, ok, I just don’t. Because of that, I am very careful when a movie is suggested to me -I do my research. I look at reviews, a synopsis and usually a family movie rating site to find out the exact extent of the violence.

Everyone has their own sensibilities and I know what I find disturbing and try to avoid it.

When my son was younger, I tried to keep him away from portrayals of violence as much as I could and if there were adult topics introduced, I made sure to discuss them with him before we saw the production or movie.

When he was about 10, he wanted to see RENT. I introduced him to theatre early in life and this was a play we all wanted to see. A friend of mine had been to see it in New York and I asked her about it after doing some preliminary research. We discussed the different mature topics it covered and I made a plan.

I let my son listen to the music ahead of time with me and we discussed different topics that he was not too sure about. He had always been mature for his age and a very thoughtful kid, so we had some truly amazing discussions.

We all saw RENT together and it still remains my son’s favorite musical. Yes, it is mature, yes some people don’t like it and yes, some people did not agree with me that he was old enough to see it. That is their prerogative to disagree, but ultimately none of their business. I took the time to research the show, took into account his maturity level, had discussions to see if he was indeed ready and in the process taught him how to research and be an intelligent consumer.

I saw Cruella last week after doing some research. I was concerned about a couple of possibly upsetting scenes, but they were handled in a way that was not upsetting to me. I went in prepared to have to close my eyes through some of the movie, but I didn’t.

Because I was fine with it as a super sensitive 63 year old does not mean every kid out there needs to see it. Each parent has to make the call if they think their child can handle it, just as each patron of our theatre will have to decide if they want to see the play we are about to do.

My point is, as a parent your job is to know your kid and do your homework. As a movie goer or theatre attendee, your job is to do your homework. Don’t send out angry Facebook posts and mean tweets when you are the one who dropped the ball. If you took your child to an inappropriate movie, the person you need to be angry with is looking at you in the mirror.

I knew from the preview to check out the level of violence. I knew from the poster that it had a PG-13 rating because of “some violence and thematic elements.” It was never presented as a “sweet story about puppies” or a cartoon for small, sensitive children. If you, as a parent could not be bothered to read the poster or watch a preview, you have no grounds for spewing out hatred for your mistake.

I have written before about people who don’t research candidates during election season, who don’t check out news stories and just blindly believe things that aren’t true, and who don’t seem to care about facts and science over nonsense. Not taking a minute to check out what you are about to watch, or caring enough to look up what your child is about to see is another way that people fail to be responsible adults, citizens and parents.

If my play is not well done, then I want to hear what you have to say. If the acting stinks or the set is sloppy, tell me. But if your complaint is that you didn’t know it was serious or a mature subject, that is on you because Wikipedia or any number of places can give you a heads up before you purchase a ticket. WE will give you a heads up in our advertising and posters.

No one is trying to dupe you or get your child in the theatre to show them an inappropriate movie. The ratings and the previews are pretty good to give you an idea of what is in their content. And there are too many sites that will tell you all about just about anything you might be planning to see.

Be responsible for the choices you make and quit blaming others when you don’t do the work. We all make mistakes, but some are pretty easy to avoid and this is one of those times. If you do make a mistake, own up to it, do better next time and quit ranting to social media that somehow you were a victim.

 

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Marietta is a graduate of the University of Montevallo with a BFA in musical theater. She has been performing for over 50 years on the stage and continues to perform, direct and teach. Marietta is married to Tim, has a son named Jon, and a cat named Penny.