In the Methodist church many women join the United Methodist Women (UMW) and the small groups are called circles. When my 27 year old son was in preschool, my friend Laura invited me to her circle. I am not much of a “joiner”. I don’t think much of committees and meetings stress me out. But Laura told me this was a casual group of Christian women my age, with kids Jon’s age that I would enjoy. In order to get out of the house I decided to try it. The first meeting I attended was nice enough. We had refreshments and chit chatted a bit. Some of the women I knew vaguely, most not at all. When the actual business part of the meeting started I was totally lost. The sweet lady seated next to me that I sort of knew started leaning over and answering the questions that swirled in my head. It was like she could read my mind, or at least she read the puzzled look on my face. She explained who the circle chair was talking about, what the envelopes they passed around were for and what the upcoming fundraiser was all about. If not for this kind soul I would have been lost and would probably have never come back to another meeting. But I did come back. And I made new friends that are still my friends. Their children are my son’s best friends. We still get together to pray for our kids.
Fast forward many years. The UMW was facing a crisis. No one wanted to commit to the time and resources it took to be the president and no one knew what to do. The same friend who had led me through that first meeting told her mother, a devoted and elder member of the organization, to ask me. I was a wild card, a loose cannon. Most of the older members who pulled all of the strings didn’t know me, but this woman and her mom talked me into the job and then talked the women of the UMW into accepting me. For two years I struggled through board meetings, general meetings and circle meetings- not just my circle but all of the circles!! I made sweeping changes- which should not surprise you! All through this my friend Nancy, who had explained the organization to me all of those years before and told her mom I could handle the job, helped to guide me through. She told me when I angered the elders and told me when I was doing a good job. She pulled no punches and she helped me survive one of the toughest ordeals of my life.
During this time I was also testing the waters of the theatre world again. Although I had done theatre for lots of my young life, as a mom I had put it completely aside. By this time Jon was grown and I felt the need to be creative in that way again. Tim was very supportive as was Jon and my friend Kyle allowed me to sing in one of his shows. After the show my friend Nancy again came to me, shaking her head and telling me the truth once again. “I had no idea you could do that!’ she said. “Why do you hide your light under a bushel? God doesn’t like us to do that! You have to use your talents!” As I considered going back to school and giving theatre a real shot, Nancy made me feel OK about the changes to my life it would entail and she was always positive that it was OK for me to do what I needed to do for me. She felt sure God would use me, just in a new way. And He has!
Today the world lost my friend Nancy. It confuses me no end how that can be. The lives of the young adults she led in Sunday School, her three lovely daughters and so many more lives are forever changed by having known her, I know mine is. Losing her is unthinkable and yet we must deal with it. The stories I have heard about her last days show me once again how to live with grace and courage. I will always be grateful that she was a part of my life.
Years ago our circle dissolved. Some moved off, others went back to work as their children left home, I went back to school and the few that were left joined other circles. A few months ago I started thinking I would have the old group over to my house for lunch, just to see how everyone was doing. I knew Nancy was sick, but me being me I never once thought she would not be around. So I put it off, thinking spring on my back porch would be best. Lately I knew in my heart spring was not realistic, but I stuck with the thought. Today when I heard the news I wanted to beat myself for waiting. But then I realized that Nancy was teaching me another lesson. I am doing the best I can and I can’t change anything. I must move forward, forgive myself but not put things off, show people the love I feel for them every chance I get. And we can still get the circle together in the spring. Nancy will be there.
