Center of the Universe

When I was a kid, I remember my dad asking me who the center of the universe was. Having not been brought up in a Christian home (or any religion for that matter) I had no lofty answer like God or Allah. He went on to explain to me that I was the center of the universe, since everything that happened to me I saw through my eyes and experience, everything I said came from me and everything I heard went through the filter of my ears and mind.

As a child that was confusing since everything in our house seemed to revolve around him and not me, but when I was a child I thought that if my dad said it, it must be true. As I grew up, I realized that was not always the case, however I still have the remnants of what I was told as a child floating around inside of my head.

As an adult, I try really hard to make myself go against most of his words most of the time.

When my son went off to church camp one summer, he came home with a new idea that had been planted in his head- I AM THIRD. I didn’t get it right off of the bat.  He explained that God came first, others came second and he (I) came third.

When I thought about it, I decided that much like my dad’s idea that I was at the center of my life, my being third had some validity and some problems.

I do see things through my eyes and hear things through the filter of my ears. I do have opinions that color what I see, hear and do. However, other people in my life and elsewhere are seeing things through their eyes, ears and minds and I have to be aware of that and sensitive to that. I can’t realistically think I am the center of the universe.

And while I do try to put God first in my life, there are times that I have to be second and put others third. Other people, while needing my love and understanding, can wear me down sometimes. I can’t say yes to everything they want me to do. I can’t let toxic people ruin my life, day after day. I can’t neglect my health to take care of everyone else.

If I do more than my mind and body can handle for others, then there is nothing left of me to give. Sometimes I have to step back and take care of me, build myself back up and then go out into the world again to do what I can for others.

So I think the placement of myself in the line-up changes from time to time. Sometimes I am second, sometimes third.

I understand at camp that they were trying to teach a bunch of selfish, self absorbed preteens that they did not need to come first all of the time. It is a great lesson to temper back the egotistical rhetoric that I am hearing so much of right now. Stop and think about what God really wants from you, (the old school WWJD I guess?) think about what would be best for other people (as in the whole world, not just you and your family) and then think about you. In some cases, you really don’t have to think much about you. If it is what is right with God and right for the world, there is a pretty good chance it is going to be good for you to. Not necessarily profitable or self serving, but good.

And in a world full of evil, I think I would be happy to see some good.

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Marietta is a graduate of the University of Montevallo with a BFA in musical theater. She has been performing for over 50 years on the stage and continues to perform, direct and teach. Marietta is married to Tim, has a son named Jon, and a cat named Penny.