Well, Thanksgiving break is over. I just got home from church, where we had the hanging of the greens program. During a program like this I always think about the fact that one of my first reasons for thinking about going back to school was so I felt worthy of singing in church. I, of course, will not be singing in my church but I have come to terms with that and have moved on.
The program also signified the beginning of advent. That means a little more stress getting the house decorated between workshops and classes and finals and auditions. It means trying to figure out when I can shop and when I am done and can begin to see my friends that I never see during the school term. It also means not seeing my new friends at school for a little while.
I continually see how I am living a double life, missing my friends at school when I am not there, missing church when I am not there, missing my family when I am at school. But back to my original subject- the end of my break. I got to rest, eat too much, get some spa time, watch football and be with my little family. No time for outside friends but time with my guys. It was great and it makes me a little sad to go back to school tomorrow. I told my minister tonight that I know I am in the right place because I am so happy when I am there. I feel right there, even when I am mad about the decorating or the auditions don’t go my way or the work is overwhelming, I love every bit of it.
I talked to my mom on the phone Friday and she told me that you just get to a point in life where you don’t want to do anything any more and people shouldn’t push you. I agree that people shouldn’t push you to do what you don’t want to do. But I certainly hope that I never get to the point that I don’t want to do things. I want to do EVERYTHING! I would rather be over worked, mad or even sad than nothing. SO mom, I love you but I hope you are wrong.
My list of what I am thankful for of course starts and ends with Tim and Jon. In the middle is the cat and my house and my health and school and my friends, old and new. But I am also thankful for emotions and work and aches and pains, for the people I knew and lost and people I will know in the future. I am thankful for running down stairs and walking between classes in the rain. I am thankful for everything that makes up life, good and bad. And I am thankful that I am not always on break because then I wouldn’t appreciate it so much and I would be bored. And there is nothing worse than boredom.
So back to school I go and gladly so. Until I get stretched too thin or ticked off at someone.
