Tomorrow starts another semester and I am not really ready for it. Oh, I have the books and the paper and pens, I have my clothes picked out, and am ready in that regard. I even have my monologue ready and a song mostly prepared for auditions this week, so I am light years ahead of last year in that respect. Last year I did not know that you had to walk in ready to go the next day with auditions for the semester’s plays and barely got something ready for the audition- didn’t even attempt a song though! So I guess on the surface I am way more prepared than I was this time last year.
But in my head I am not ready. Jon is home and Tim is still beaten up from his fall and subsequent knee surgery. Now he is sick with a fever and I really don’t want to leave them. I just feel at odds. It seems every semester something happens to make me wonder if I will finish the term. Tim’s hernia surgery last summer and then his decision to start remodeling the bathroom the day I started back to school. My feeling of total inadequacy in the fall, my accident when I busted my teeth in the spring, Tim’s knee surgery and the repairs to our house after the tree fell on it this summer and now my concern for Jon in finding a job and for Tim since he seems to stay sick and hurting.
Hopefully I will again persevere and get another step closer to my goal, I will let you know what happens!