You all know I am a cleaner. I love to pull something apart and reorganize it. Therefore one of my favorite things is cleaning out closets- I love cleaning closets! I am in my element today because I am tackling the worst closet we have- the closet in my office. Originally this was my son Jon’s den and his closet. When he moved out and I moved in, I added lots of my junk on top of all of the stuff he did not want to move quite yet. As my last year of school was a hard and stressful one, I just kept putting more junk on top of the already layers of junk. I guess I figured some day it would make a great archeological dig for someone. Layers of different generations’ crap. And not your average junk either. I was layering in odd costumes on top of college notes from both myself (theatre) and Jon (journalism.) And lots of his equipment from when he was a professional gamer, and lots of old shoes and purses from me. Quite a mix of things.
I decided the best thing to do was just pull everything out and then put back what I was going to keep in that closet and make piles out in the room of everything else. I had a pile for Jon to look through, a give away pile and a throw away pile. As I worked I began a “look at after I was done” pile and a “put somewhere else” pile. My office looked like an episode of “Hoarders” for a short time, but it was long enough to make me uncomfortable, so my throw away pile quickly became bigger and bigger.
I began to find old pictures of Jon and I found one of him with a group of boys when they were in first grade. One of the boys has died and others have moved away and I can’t even remember some of their names (I do however, remember things they had done.) I found a copy of an email Jon had sent us when he went on a cruise with Tim’s dad about 12 years ago. Jon was 14 that summer and he had a ball on that trip. He emailed us to tell us how much it cost to send that email from out at sea and to tell us he had gotten us “surprises” in St. Lucia. He also told us he had gotten a watch with one whole carat of diamonds for only $55. He exclaimed, “I sure am a good barganer.” (His spelling, not mine!) I laughed the day he sent it and I laughed again today. (Side note- my souvenir was a ring with a “diamond” that in the real world would have been about 8 carats and cost a fortune. He told me he was amazed that it had only cost him $25! He looked around as he gave it to me and expressed his doubts whether the guy was honest and if it in fact was a real diamond. Jon told me he decided he had to buy it anyway because it was so pretty and sparkly, just like me. He told me it was just meant to be on my finger. I wear that ring at every audition and jury. It is not so much a good luck piece, nor do I have any illusions that it is anything but glass. What it is though, is a reminder that someone so special to me thinks I am sparkly and pretty and said so with words and actions.)
I found his class notes from when he attended a sports writing seminar at Rutgers. I found my notes from my first class at Montevallo- “An Invitation to Listening.” I remembered the gruff old professor that I liked so much who taught that class. I would stay after class and have long, drawn out discussions with him about things he had said in class. Being summer and a class that was not really in anyone’s major, the kids disliked him for taking this class so seriously. I loved everything about the class, the music we listened to, the little bit of theory we learned and the idea that art was only art if shared. We argued about that for days. The other kids blasted out the second we were done and he and I stayed to discuss things sometimes for an hour or more! This was why I went to college, to share and discuss ideas! Dr. Wright retired that next year and died very soon after- too soon! It was heartbreaking for me. Seeing my notes made me feel all of that all over again.
I came across a card that I had given Jon when he transferred from Alabama to Birmingham- Southern and I had enclosed the lyrics to a song. Those words sparked an idea that I will share with you another time because I don’t want to spoil a surprise by telling the story now. Let’s just say I love it when a plan comes together and you can see the hand of God in the middle of the plan. I came across the hospital gowns from the play I had just directed at school. I found lots of packs of gum and lots of computer cords. I found old pictures of Jon playing football and a basket full of clothespins. (Don’t ask because I have absolutely no idea!) I found a gag gift that a friend gave me years ago that I think I can actually use now- I will let your imagination go wild on that one! I found lots of hats- championship hats from Homewood football and Alabama football. I found hats from past sponsors of Tim’s racing team.
As I came across each item I became more and more aware of what a full and varied life I have led. I can not even begin to express how thankful I am for all I have gotten to do. If my life ended tonight I would still have seen and done more than most people. I have such great memories and stories and the plan is to just keep adding on. But I would be exceptionally greedy to expect more. I am just grateful everyday to be alive and have such amazing people and opportunities in my life. I have sort of been fretting the past two weeks about what to do next and if I will indeed get to do anything else. I have felt like a slacker because I did not go from graduation on Saturday to queen of the theatre world on Monday. But I needed the break, to reconnect to my life and to clean out the closets in my house and in my mind. Now I am ready for anything that might come my way, but I will take the time to wait on the right thing. See I told you- I love cleaning closets!
