Some time ago I began getting what were called Montevallo Compliments on Facebook. It was a place where you could send a compliment to someone anonymously and everyone who subscribed could see it. It was sweet and funny and I even got a compliment one time! This week I began to see another page which was called Montevallo Confessions. It started out also kind of sweet and funny. A place where you anonymously confess a crush or something silly you had done.
I told the cast of my play earlier in the week that I was OK with it when they asked me. I mean, not everything in the world is rosy and lovely. We are human and we mess up and anyway, I do not believe in censorship. The posts I had seen were harmless enough. Then they got kind of gross and I thought how humans always seem to take something that is a cute idea and keep on and on until it is ruined for everyone.
Now don’t get me wrong-I am not a person who does the whole “anonymous ” thing. If I am going to say it, I am going to put my name on it! I have said very truthful things in this blog and my name goes with it. Even when people have not liked what I said, I have stood by it. When someone tried to censor me last fall, I did not let them. I almost did, but my son set me straight. And I also learned a long time ago that what I say will be heard by everyone eventually, so I might as well be up front. I can remember being told that a certain individual read my blog and that I should be aware of that. I assume everyone reads my blog!! I don’t know 1500 people, yet that is how many “regular” readers I have. Because of that I assume everyone I do know reads this. Whether they do or not I am not sure, but I assume that. Doesn’t matter- I am not going to write or say something I don’t mean and know to be true. And as such anyone can hear it. When I was told that certain person read my blog, my first thought was “Yes and…”
Last term I remember standing in the hall at school, complaining about an injustice I felt had been done. I think everyone knew how I felt. As I discussed it, a fellow student stepped out of the student lounge, a bit embarrassed that they had overheard what they thought was a private conversation. I assured them that all parties involved knew what I was saying and that I would say it in front of anyone. Like I said before, there are ears everywhere- if you say something be prepared to have it heard. I learned this a long ago. I do not talk behind your back- if I have a problem, you will know it!
Today the Confessions page got way out of hand. Mean spirited comments that people are too cowardly to say out loud so they put it on this page. Gross things that are just shocking for shock sake- pointless and juvenile. But when one of the posts talked about someone in a class I was in, that person made a comment that actually proved the point of the anonymous writer. They behaved more badly than anyone on the sight had! I am hoping they spoke out of anger without thinking. It happens. But it made the disgruntled writer seem justified in their observation of this person!
I like writing because I can think through every word. I have told you before I try to do that in speech and often get left out of conversations because I am still considering and choosing words while the conversation has moved on without me! But in writing I can ponder words, choose carefully, edit, reread and then read again. When I was once asked if I meant to write something, I explained that I indeed give much thought to my words as I write. When I learn lines I try to be exact in my recitation because I hope the playwright spent a lot of time choosing each word to say exactly what he meant. I do that for anything I write- an email, a Facebook status, a blog post or a term paper. So if I wrote it, I meant it. I do change opinions sometimes, but when I wrote it, I meant it.
I hope that both of these Facebook pages are fads and fizzle out quickly. Not because I don’t like discourse and discussion, but because if someone wants to say something, let them choose their words carefully and be man enough (or woman enough) to stand proudly behind their words. I am willing to bet that most of these people would not be willing to say this type of thing face to face. Think before you speak or write, people!!
