This has been a strange summer. For the past two summers I took classes during the Summer 2 session and only had a three week break before going back to school. This summer I was off for almost two months and I have gotten in the “stay-at-home mom” rhythm of life. The thought of going back to school is almost as terrifying as it was the first time I ever showed up on campus, two years ago.
I also have issues with my return in that I have the opportunity to go on a trip with my family, but it means missing parts of the audition process and a day of classes. I am unsure about the outcome of any of that (even if we are indeed going on the trip or not) so I feel in a state of unease for now, which you know I hate!
I have a weird schedule for this next semester so that is also a concern. And for the next week I am doing all sorts of different things to kind of get me ready for an odd semester! Add to that the fact that I had to have my front teeth removed again yesterday in an effort to reshape my gums and then replace my old crowns with new ones that sit in my mouth better. To be honest I have been uncomfortable for over a year. These temporaries I have in right now feel better than the permanents they took off! I am taking a voice lesson tomorrow to see how all of this is affecting my singing and speaking voice. Hopefully it is not, but I need to know.
I have had time for lots of soul searching this summer and I have made some decisions that will probably make school more challenging, but they had to be made. I was sort of floundering for a while there, so I had to center myself back into who I know I am and everyone else will just have to adjust!
Lastly, things seem weird because it is my last year of school. In 9 months I can go back to my “stay-at-home mom” life if I so choose. But not really. My reason for being a mom at home has left. He is out of the house and may soon be gone even further. Is a mom with no kid to take care of even really a mom? I know I will still worry about him, but day in and day out I will not be needed! So in nine months I will be useless, unless I can come up with something. So I am freaking out a bit. (My husband told me he is expecting great things out of me when I graduate- no pressure there!)
Lastly, a lot of the people I count on at school are gone. Several graduated and one, my best buddy Michael, is going to Russia to study! I wish him the best, I know he will grow and learn so much, but I feel kind of alone. I do have a few friends left, but several of them are graduating in December. So I am a bit concerned about that as well.
Often times I have learned, when you expect the least, you are pleasantly surprised. And other times when you expect the best, you are sadly let down. The two classes that I was most afraid of when I began this journey were history and chemistry. I aced both classes and not only did I enjoy both classes immensely, my history teacher is now one of my better friends at school! You never know what to expect so this semester will be an adventure for sure. If I think about it, every semester has been an adventure. And isn’t that why I went back to school?? Helen Keller said, “Life is a daring adventure or nothing at all.” I agree and here I go again!
