Whenever I see a play or movie, read a book or sit in front of the TV, I look for a connection to at least one character. If I don’t find that connection, I usually don’t enjoy what I have experienced.
My son and I both enjoy writing and we have talked before about how important it is for the audience to care about the characters we create.
As an actor there has to be some kind of connection between you as a person and the character you become. It is important to see where you are different from your character, but it is also important to find the things you have in common. Even when you are playing the most awful person and think you are nothing like that evil being, somewhere in there you have to find something to love, something to connect to. If you can’t find a reason to care about your character, no one in the audience will either.
Many times coming home from a play or movie, we discuss aspects of what we have just seen. We decide who we thought had the best singing voice, if it was a musical. Most of the times it isn’t the main character as you would expect. We discuss what we saw that we would change if we were the director or lighting designer and we talk about what we enjoyed the most. Tim always asks me what part I would have wanted if I had been in the play. I always pick the weirdest, smallest part because I do indeed love those quirky characters. And Tim almost always says “I knew it!!” because he has learned to pick out those strange little parts I adore.
I can’t tell you how many times I have said that I didn’t enjoy a play or movie because I made no connection to any character. Especially in a live performance, I can not enjoy a play when I do not care about anyone on stage. I can remember telling Tim that I really didn’t care when a character died or when awful or good things happened in the plot because I had found nothing to connect me to the characters.
It isn’t that I can’t relate to who these people are, it is that they have not shown me their humanity, their flaws, their heart. I have only seen a shell of a person. The actor knew their lines, but they didn’t know their character’s soul.
I guess that is why I am losing patience with all of the slapstick plays and “Southern women” productions that seem to be growing exponentially. I need more. I need to not only laugh, but feel. I need to care and connect. I need fully fleshed out characters, not caricatures of people.
In my real life I feel kind of the same way lately. I need connection. I need people who are real and willing to share their story, their heart, their soul. I need people who can discuss, question, push. I don’t need to discuss the weather or what we ate for dinner. I need the sharing of feelings and ideas and dreams.
Lately, I have had people read this blog and then text or message me about things happening to them or around them that relate to what I have written. It has encouraged me when I have felt that I shouldn’t have pushed the “publish” button after pouring out my heart. It has made me so aware of what is happening to the people around me and it has given me a new hunger for connection.
As scared as I am to share some of the things I write, I am more scared of living without being honest and not sharing who I am so those connections are made.
When I see a character on stage who is real, honest, and someone I grow to care about in that darkened theatre, I know that the actor has put in the work to know and become that other person. When I read a book where I see honesty and integrity in the words I read, I know the writer is wanting to connect with me.
That doesn’t mean I won’t enjoy the zany plays and Southern comedies any more. It just means I need more. We all have hilarious moments in our lives. (Well, to be honest I do know some people that I can’t imagine having any fun in their lives or even smiling for that matter, but I know that they must have some kind of humor or they wouldn’t survive!) But we also have those tender moments, sad times and deep thoughts that make us a full being. And I want to see that when I go to the theatre.
We all need connection of some sort. Whether it is with our family, our friends, the people we see on stage and screen or read about in books, we were made to connect in some way. It is the only way we can have empathy for our fellow man or care about those that might need us. When you have told me about something that I have written that made you think or made you want to share with me, you have made me happy to a level I would never have imagined. It helps me to know you and I hope that you feel connected to me.
