In the past week I have seen a very interesting play, a very disturbing but important film, and had some very meaningful conversations. In trying to take away a message or common thread through all of it, one thing has kept coming to my mind. I don’t think it is the take away meant from each event and it certainly isn’t the only thing I got from all of this sharing of art, but it is what I am going to write about today.
Over and over again we abuse our bodies. We eat too much, we eat too little, we don’t get enough sleep, we drink too much, push too hard, forget to exercise and take pills hoping to feel better.
Many times we do these things on purpose, sometimes we do them accidentally. We purposely set out to party, to overeat for a holiday, run a marathon or pull an all-nighter at work. We accidentally forget to eat or push ourselves a little past what we meant to at the gym.
In the movie Beautiful Boy, the human body is pushed to the edge of death several times by drug overdoses.
My son told me that the movie was finally in town for a very limited engagement after a few false starts to go to see this movie. We quickly bought tickets and went, so I had basically no time to do my usual research before going to see a movie that a) could be upsetting b) might be more violent than I can handle or sexual than what I might want to see with my child and his friends and c) is based on a true story so I try to see what is the actual story.
Not knowing the whole story, over and over I thought that the main character was a goner. I figured the rest of the movie would be about handling the grief. Over and over the main character came back from the brink. Near the end, when he was no doubt dead, again he was given another chance at life, one that according to the ending credits, he has tried to use more wisely in the past 8 years.
In the play I saw, Middletown by Will Eno, I found times of humor, moments of sadness and overall a feeling that life goes on, but in the end we are all alone. Through the thread of missed friendships, encounters with others and life events, we make our choices and we get what we get.
As one person has a new life to watch over, another loses their life because the loneliness is too much. It was very thought provoking.
In conversations with friends since those two performances, I have discussed diets and looking for meaning and happiness, new pets and old problems. I have heard about bad choices, new beginnings, possible illnesses and difficult projects.
Through it all, our bodies are still going. We drink too much and our body complains with headaches and lethargy. We eat too much and the pounds pack on causing diabetes and high blood pressure. We do too much and our muscles ache. We forget a coat and our bodies shiver, we stand in the heat to cheer our team and the sweat pours down our backs.
Over and over, we abuse ourselves, even the well meaning health “nut” takes the body where it might not really want to go.
In the world where forgiveness is such an important thing (not only to forgive others, but to forgive ourselves) nowhere will you see a better example of forgiveness on this earth, than what your body shows you each and every day.
Eventually the headache from your overindulgence the night before goes away, the muscle ache from too much work eventually eases, we come in to warm up after being out in the cold, we take a cold shower or jump in the pool after the heat and our body cools.
Sure, there are some times that our body betrays us. For example, some of the effects of eating disorders might never go away. But how long did it take us to get to that point? How long did we overeat? Starve ourselves? How long did our body try to keep on bouncing back?
I have no answers for cancer, or other diseases that seem to come from nowhere. But for most of us, day in and day out, we are blessed with a body that takes more than it should have to. Even for those who find they have a chronic illness, are you still taking care of the body you have even though it seems to have betrayed you? Is it still fighting to function on your behalf?
If ever there was an example of taking something for granted, I think it would be our bodies. The way they are designed is incomparable, how they work is amazing, the abuse they endure is incredible, the forgiveness shown is inspiring.
Someone told me about a coworker who was upset that their significant other wanted to go on a fad diet this week. After all, Thanksgiving is coming up soon and this person has been planning to overindulge for weeks!
I laughed and then later thought about how strange people are. We plan to do the wrong thing to ourselves, knowing that we can because our bodies will take it and we will probably still wake up the next morning, a little heavier and maybe a tad guilty, but still functioning like we did the day before.
If you set out weeks in advance to do something abusive and ill advised to me, I would not be as forgiving. You might end up in jail! Yet we keep on doing these things to ourselves.
As always, I have no answers. I am the worst about pushing my body to lift things that are too heavy, to skip meals and to occasionally have that second (or third) glass of wine. Seeing the movie and play that I saw this weekend, talking with other struggling humans, just made me appreciate the body God gave me.
Yes, my body is getting older. Yes, I am slowing down. I forget things, I see new wrinkles every day, and somehow my butt is slowly drifting towards my knees. I know that every day is one day closer to the end.
But the fact that I have lived this long when so many others have not, fills me with gratitude. The fact that I have no major illness today and that for all of the misuse of this extraordinary gift I have been given, my body continues to work at all is a miracle.
Hopefully, I will try harder to protect this gift I’ve been given. In reality, probably not.
