In looking through some papers the other day, I found a letter from several years ago. I tend to file away correspondence and papers that intrigue me, but I just am not sure how to deal with right then.
Obviously the person that wrote this letter was having a discussion with me about being a show off. This person in actuality is fairly smart, but thinks they are EXTREMELY smart. They are the type that constantly tells you what they know and what you don’t know. They brag about being in MENSA and about their degree. I would have to assume at some point I lost my cool with this person and said something about all of this, because this letter was obviously their defense.
In the letter, the point was made that when people are strong or athletic, the public cheers and applauds their strength and athletic prowess. If a someone is beautiful, people recognize that beauty. So, this person reasoned, why wouldn’t you show off your intelligence?? If people applaud beauty or strength, why shouldn’t he get kudos for his brilliance??
As I reread this old letter I wondered if I had answered this person or if I had just sighed and moved on. I am fairly sure that I just sighed. It is not like me to engage in a long distance, long term argument. But having seen this letter, I have been thinking about what it said.
My son was a high school and college football player. He is 6′ 4″ tall and in his college prime weighed in at 300 pounds of solid muscle. At one point he belonged to the 1200 pound club (meaning that in three events this is the amount of weight he could lift in total.) In other words, my kid was the strong, athletic guy this person referred to in their letter.
As an offensive lineman my son’s job was to push people down in order to protect his quarterback. He did a pretty good job most of the time. However, off of the field he was and is one of the calmest, most gentle people you will ever meet. I have seen him, since he was in kindergarten, let boys much smaller then he is beat him up. When I would ask why he didn’t defend himself, my gentle giant would say that he was afraid since he was so much bigger than the others that he might hurt them.
My son is now a sportscaster on the radio. He lives and breathes team schedules and statistics. His knowledge of sports, scores, and team members is astonishing to me and even to people he works with. If you need to know the score of the Alabama- South Carolina game five years ago for example, just ask him!
This past weekend, I finally got some closure and we buried my mother’s ashes. I know it has been 2 months since she passed away- long story. I doubt that I will ever share much of the day, but there was this one story. While waiting for the rest of the few people that my father had invited, we were standing on the porch chatting. Other than my dad, my cousin, and my two guys, I did not know a soul there. When one of these strangers found out my son had played football at Birmingham- Southern College, the man proceeded to talk about how BSC had pulled out a win the day before.
We had just been talking on the drive to the service that BSC had been beaten horribly the day before 50-16. When the man talked about them pulling out a win, my son the sports expert, just smiled and nodded. Jon knew better, but just changed the subject slightly so as to save the man any embarrassment. I smiled to myself. That is the guy I raised, (although I am not taking any credit, since I had no idea what I was doing raising this guy!!) that is my final answer to the show off’s letter about his intelligence.
It is wonderful to be strong, when it means you can protect your quarterback, or help someone out of a tough situation. It is wonderful to be smart, if you use your intelligence to make the world a better place. Pulling your shirt off in public to flex your muscles is as inappropriate as trying to make someone feel less than because you know something they don’t. Would you really think someone is beautiful if they constantly said, “Look at me, I am SOOO beautiful”? Not so much. So why would you be impressed with someone who constantly has to tell you they are really, really smart?
And is it more important to always be right, no matter whose feelings you hurt or how annoying you are?
If the knowledge you share will help someone, if using your muscles will make a difference for someone’s well being, then use your abilities for good. If bragging about your God given abilities is purely for your benefit, to show how great you are or to make someone else feel stupid, then I would have to think you don’t really understand why you have been given that attribute to begin with.
The person who wrote me the letter that started all of this was born intelligent and worked hard to excel at book learning (common sense, not so much!) and to graduate with honors. But does that make that person better than a less intelligent soul who worked even harder just to be able to graduate with moderate grades?? Not in my book.
Does the fact that my son was born tall and strong, worked hard to build up those muscles and succeeded on the football field make him more praiseworthy than the kid born with physical challenges who works and competes in the Special Olympics?? Absolutely not.
“To whom much is given, much is required.” We have all been given so much, good and bad traits that we can use or waste. When someone thinks they have been given a special gift of intelligence, strength, good looks, or whatever, maybe then the challenge is not to develop that gift into a way to show off, but to strengthen the gift so that we can make the world a better place for everyone.
