I just had a lovely lunch with two friends from my time at the University of Montevallo. It was spur of the moment and everything fell into place overnight for us to get together. One was my history professor and the other was a fellow theatre student. I was thrilled to see them both, it had been awhile, although regular lunches used to be our habit.
We hugged when we saw each other and when we parted. I am an awkward hugger, I am afraid. I am just awkward in general, I think.
I always think it will be the last time I will see friends. I have said to people, “I know I will never see you again!” as I hug them goodbye. And with some of my fellow UM classmates, so far I’ve been correct!
I always leave the beach taking that one last look as if I will never see it again. I breathe in the car fumes as I get ready to leave Manhattan each time. I linger in our favorite hotels when it is time to go. You never know when it will be the last time you get to see someone or something.
A couple of weeks ago I was at an event and saw an acquaintance from church. I’ve known him for years and have always liked him. He always makes me feel like he is so happy to see me anytime we cross paths.
At this event he tapped my shoulder and I turned around to find him smiling and I almost reached to hug him before I realized a) we aren’t “hugging” type friends and b) I am an awkward hugger (see above.) So we kind of “small”waved (awkwardly) and chit chatted a moment.
As he walked away, I felt this urge to hug him again, but went about my business.
This past weekend, this sweet man was hit by a car while riding his bicycle for exercise. He has a long struggle ahead of him to recuperate, but our prayers and hopes say he will recover. One friend told me yesterday that it would be easier to explain what wasn’t injured on his body than what was. It is a horrible situation and is a terrible ordeal for his close knit family.
All I could think of when the minister told us about the accident in church last Sunday was “why didn’t I hug him?” I know that wouldn’t have changed anything and maybe that is making it about me somehow, I don’t know and I don’t mean to. But I did have that feeling of wanting to hug him again and knew that I had missed that opportunity.
I do often feel like I let my own insecurities and the social norms I impose on myself stop me from doing what I feel. And as much as I see each parting as the last, I never want to take the people in my life- family, friends, acquaintances, for granted.
So next time, I’ll hug whomever I want. I will hug them as if I ‘ll never see them again.
I had a friend that I lost years ago and one of the things I remember about her was that she hugged everyone. And when she hugged you, you knew you’d been hugged!! After she died, I sometimes wouldn’t clearly remember her face, but I never forgot how her hugs felt!
So when you see me next, don’t be surprised if I hug you! And if you see someone you care about, just hug them!
