I wrote another review for BroadwayWorld.com. You can click the link to the right and get to it, if you are interested in reading it. I am trying to do one a week, but the theatre scene is slow right now with the start of school and next week with the start of college football, my attentions will be turned somewhat, but I will keep doing the best I can.
This week my review was not as positive as they usually are. Before when I went to see something I wasn’t thrilled with, I just didn’t write a review. After all, it is my blog and I can write what I want. I now feel that if I see it, I should review it, like it or not. When I wrote this latest review, I was fine. After I submitted it to my editor, I was fine. When I got up this morning and it was up on the site, I started to feel a twinge of something. Not guilt- I did nothing wrong. But as an actress I KNOW how hard it is to put yourself up there. It is like the bad dream where you show up in class naked, to be scrutinized, criticized and laughed at. It is baring your soul to friends and strangers. I also know that there are circumstances that affect your performance-what the director told you to do, sometimes different from what you felt the character would do, for instance. Although it shouldn’t, the audience can affect your performance. My favorite professor used to tell us not to let the audience take you down a dark road. She meant not to let their lack of enthusiasm or hysterical laughter or anything they do or say change what you know you are supposed to do. (I have used that saying often in many facets of life. Don’t let others change what you know is right and what you are supposed to do!!)
All of this to say, it is really hard to write an honest review when you know someone might get their feelings hurt. I laugh at judges on reality shows when they give positive critiques to everyone! On one recent show, the female judge said she wasn’t a “dream killer” so she voted “yes” for every contestant. That is not a judge, my cat can vote yes for everyone! I have seen good and bad theatre and been in shows, good and bad, for over 50 years. I have studied theatre in college- recently. I wrote many response papers in school and got mostly high marks. I remember one paper in particular that was long and not very flattering that I had to hand to the one professor who did not care for me and who directed the show I was ripping to shreds! He kept my paper when he returned all of the others. After class I asked him about my response paper and he told me we could meet about it at my convenience. I figured I was about to be expelled! When he handed back the paper in his office, I saw that he had written all over it AND attached 2 more sheets of paper which he had covered front and back in his illegible handwriting. I knew I was in for it. As I listened to him and skimmed through the pages in front of me, I saw the giant, circled A on the last page. Although he defended his work, which he should have (you have to believe in what you do or what is the point!?) he appreciated my work. It was at that point I began to have a bit more respect for this professor and that I knew my writing had to be honest.
None of this changes the fact that it is difficult to critique someone’s work. I try to take other people with me to see plays and I listen to their comments on the way home. If I hear an opinion different from mine I try to question that person and find out what they saw that I didn’t. It doesn’t automatically change my views, but I do take it into account. If my companions feel the same way I do, then I feel more sure of what I write. I certainly don’t take this lightly. I know that most of these people are doing this as a hobby and go to jobs by day. I also know how much this means to some of the actors. (I have met some that think it is a lark and an excuse to drink and be out of the house. But many community theatre actors take their roles very seriously! I know I do!!)
I hope anything I say will be used as positive, constructive criticism. I want it to be a mirror they can use to make what they do better and to grow. When I judge competitions all I want is for the kids I judge to learn and become better at whatever they are doing- dancing, singing, acting, whatever. Like the goofy female judge on the reality show I, too, am not a “dream crusher.” But not being able to face your short comings and not being willing to change and grow won’t help you to fulfill your dreams. You have to welcome help and advice to become better and better. I hope that is how my reviews are taken, as a positive not a negative. I know it won’t always make everyone happy, but I hope the old stories I have heard about theatres telling a critic to never come back after a negative review won’t happen to me. Bottom line, I have to be honest and true to what I believe. I just have to hope everyone is ready for the truth!
