My minister spoke about feeling like a fraud recently and I thought he was talking to me. It really hit home Tuesday when I was sent an email telling me I qualified to apply for an honor society at school. I decided I am type A enough and a performer enough that I like awards and honors so I decided to apply. I was unsure if my age was a disqualification but was assured that I was eligible.
But then I realized why I wanted to apply quickly for this honor as well as the theatre honor society. I wanted to get in before I flunked everything this semester. Every semester I am convinced I will fail and that people will see me for the fraud I am, just like my minister talked about. I always think I am just skating by for some reason, people feel sorry for me or I just charmed the teacher. I also am sure that the other students I associate with are doing just as well and having it easier than I am. After my summer classes I ran into a guy who kept talking about how easy everything was and how he was breezing through. I asked him when I saw him this fall how everything turned out. He said he was very happy, he made a C in both of our classes- he knew he had done well and he did! I made A’s in both classes and never felt sure about how I was doing!
These kids are supposed to come to school, explore and find themselves. I came to school and get more and more confused!
