I know many people will disagree with me and that is OK with me. First let me say I am not a Pat Robertson fan- even in his coherent days I disagreed with him on a regular basis! But today Rick and Bubba, a local radio duo who I disagree with even more often disagreed with Pat Robertson and for once I agreed with him.
I know, this blog is about my experience of going to college but I do see a tie to my college experience.
Pat Robertson said that it was OK to divorce your spouse if they had Alzheimer’s. I agree to a point. I think you can not just desert them and leave them on the street but if they are cared for and you make sure they are cared for the rest of their lives then why are you supposed to suffer for the rest of their lives as well?? I have seen a person who does not know her own children sometimes and I have seen how short our lives can be. I believe God wants us to enjoy our lives and love as much as possible. So why would anyone who loves you want you to suffer and every day die a little inside as you watch your loved one slip into a state where they don’t know or love anyone?
I told my husband Tim today that although it is so romantic to stand by your spouse, you can stand by them and love them but move on to someone else as well. I would not really love my husband if I wanted him to suffer with me and shrivel up and die with me. I want him to always be happy and to always love and be loved. If I am not willing to see him happy and fulfilled as long as he makes sure I am cared for and occasionally he comes to see me then I don’t really love him, I merely want to control him.
And what does this have to do with me going to school? Tim has loved me enough to let me fulfill my dreams. He loves me enough to let me be gone and make friends he doesn’t know and do things he can’t share. He cares enough to know that I can never be happy if I don’t finish what I tried to start nearly 35 years ago. He knows to let me be free to pursue my passion. And I think he knows that if something happened to me that made me not know him, remember our life together and torture him with my loss of memory, I love him enough to set him free to enjoy the time he has left on this earth. Love is not easy and it is not clingy or torturous- it is letting the person you love have their best life, even if it costs you. I don’t know much but I think I know love.
