Do I come across as devious? I mean, I love to tell a story and because of being a writer and actress I must say I do take “poetic license” sometimes. My husband says I can spin a story like no one else. I don’t lie, I just make it sound the way I want it to! I can answer a question perfectly honestly, but not really tell you the truth. I only use my power for good, not evil. I use it to make something entertaining or to put people in a good light. I do it when I don’t want to hurt someone’s feelings. And I do it to get myself out of trouble, mostly with Tim, which is why he thinks I am such a pro at it!
But now I am beginning to think that others must think I am plotting and planning behind their backs and I am not really sure why. Today I received an email from someone who was acting as if I was going behind people’s backs to get things done. Now I am the first to admit, I am one to “get ‘er done”! I mean, I do not leave things to chance and I want things done yesterday. If you have read this blog at all, you know that! But I am also a stickler for going by the rules and protocol, following the chain of command and keeping everyone informed of what I am doing, almost to the point of being irritating! I am too detailed sometimes because I want no misunderstandings.
Which brings me to a point. When I went to college the first time ( about 30 years ago) professors were not your friends. I am not talking about the age difference, I just mean they were your teacher and unless you had a super serious problem, once you walked out of the class you did not see or talk to them again until the next class. You didn’t call them to chat or go have lunch with them. While they were not “the enemy” (well, some were) they weren’t your pal either. I can remember talking to my friend Stephen one time about a woman I was going to privately study voice with and it turned out to be one of his college professors from BSC. Now this was way before I started college and I remember him telling me that she used to go for margaritas with him after class. I found it shocking that she would actually hang out with her students!! But after being back in college myself, I see that times have changed and teachers are your friends on facebook and go out to lunch with students. I am OK with that I think, but it still throws me a bit. I mean, why shouldn’t they be friends? Why shouldn’t they get to know you on a personal level? That way they can advise you better. You will be more likely to come to them with a problem if you have a close relationship. I get all of that. It is just a different mindset than my generation is used to. And because of that I think maybe I do not call on my teachers as much as some students. I do call on them and I think I am being a pest sometimes when I do so, but in listening to other students I think I am being more stand off-ish than most.
I also don’t need to ask as much advice or have my hand held as much. I mean college kids today are way more advanced in lots of ways than we were, but in other ways they are not. I got pushed out into the world sooner and my parents didn’t hover over me even as a kid the way parents hover today. I think that helped make me the independent type. Don’t tell me how to do everything- let me figure it out. Add to that the fact that I am an adult that has figured out how to buy a house, how to run a business, how to raise a child, how to manage a household, and much more on my own and my days of needing to check in every five minutes with a teacher are over. Again, I am not doing anything on the sly, I am just proceeding without counsel!
Which I think is what led to the email today. I have been keeping the other students involved up to speed but not all of the faculty and now I think they are convinced I am “sneaking around” getting things done. I guess I am such an anomaly to them anyway, they aren’t sure how to take me. It all just made me realize that as much as I try to fit in, there will always be generational gaps between myself and the students, and even between the faculty and myself. I promise I am trying to do things “by the book” as usual, my book was just written a long time ago!
