We all make hundreds of mistakes every day. I probably make thousands! But this past week I made two BIG ones, almost three!
Mistake #1- I forgot that life isn’t fair and as the Rolling Stones told us “You Can’t Always Get What You Want.” I have been so blessed and so fortunate for so long, I forgot that sometimes things don’t go the way you want or plan.
Mistake #2- I let something get to me. Not just upset me, but send me into a downward spiral of emotion. It didn’t help that I was alone all week or reminded of what I was missing every time I turned on the TV or radio, but bottom line- it was all my fault. Life is not measured by what happens to you, but by how you react to things. I try to keep myself calm and in total control at all times, but this time I failed miserably!
Someone smarter than I am called me out, and it was like a slap in the face of a hysterical person. It snapped me right out of it. I retweeted an Oscar Wilde quote the other day- “A real friend stabs you in the front.” (He did not mean anything physical by this- it is a metaphor.) I take it to mean that your enemy will talk behind your back, but a friend tells you upfront when you screw up. This friend told me upfront I was messing up and I applaud her for her gumption and thank her for her friendship.
Almost Mistake #3- Because of all of this I was going to stop blogging. I felt like I was saying the wrong things, so writing was probably not a good idea. I thought for the time being I would just quit. But I have realized that is the coward’s way out- giving up. I felt stifled thinking about giving up blogging, but more than that I realized that defeated one of the main purposes of life and this blog. If you make mistakes and mess up, you learn a lesson and as Oprah says, “When you know better you do better.” So the first thing I have to do is be honest with you guys and tell you- I admit I messed up. I thought as a kid that if I could only be an adult I would have all of the answers and know all of the right things to do. I don’t!! And being human and a very emotional human, I mess up all of the time. I do know that when you mess up, you own up, you learn your lesson and move on. So here I am- wrong, humbled, learning and going forward.
Not expressing myself serves no positive end. It makes me smaller and my mission in life (and yours) is to grow. If we never mess up, we learn very little. So tomorrow starts a new week and I have to put last week behind me and keep going. I have my friend to thank for waking me up before I drowned in my own fury. And no, I will not forget what happened because if my lesson is to be permanent I have to remember how it all felt. Who knows, maybe some day I will use it in a part I have to play, maybe I could have done past parts better had I gone through this earlier. Mostly, I just need to remember so I don’t repeat my mistake.
Above all, know that I will mess up again. I can’t, of course, know when or how. I will continue to make lots of daily mistakes and occasionally I will have these giant blunders, so don’t look to me to be perfect or a role model or anything like that. Being a perfectionist, I feel that pressure and sometimes it is too much. I am just trying to do the best I can, but I repeat- I will mess up again!! But I do hope that I will always grow and move forward each time, and I hope you will allow me to apologize and share with you as I grow.
